


30 Day McKirk Fairy Tale Challenge

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: McKirk - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:58:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 22,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1251883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thirty days of McKirk based on popular Fairy Tales. I will include links to each of the Fairy Tales in case you have not read them. There were a bunch of these I had never read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cat and Mouse in Partnership

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 1: Cat and Mouse in Partnership

Once upon a time at Starfleet Academy, James Tiberius Kirk and Leonard Horatio McCoy, M.D. found themselves unlikely friends. Jim was a genius and his smile was bright as the sun. Leo, on the other hand was brilliant, constantly in a bad mood and never smiled at all. “Of course I smile, you infant, I just don’t happen to find holo-vids of cats ridin roombas while dressed as sharks to be particularly amusin.”

“That’s ‘cause you got no soul Bones.”

“Yeah well, my bitch of an ex-wife got that in divorce too. I s’pose”

@@@@

Time flew by and McCoy was infernally sick and tired of hearing Jim complain about his roommate.

“He keeps a taxidermied armadillo in our room.”

“He smells like two week old tuna fish.”

“He talks about gold panning in his sleep.”

 “He wears my underwear.”

McCoy finally had enough and invited Jim to share his dorm.

“You’re a lifesaver Bones, a real lifesaver.”

“Yeah kid, just don’t let me catch you wearing _my_ underwear.”

@@@@

December was cold and rainy in San Francisco. Jim noticed the way his new roommate shivered in his sleep, teeth clacking against each other. One night Jim slipped out of his own bed and climbed in behind Leo, pulling the other man snug against his chest.

“So warm Jimmy.” Leo murmured.

“This is nice Bones.” Jim replied, nuzzling his lips against the doctor’s neck.

@@@@

Jim and Bones rang in the New Year wrapped in each other’s arms. They were snuggled up in a blanket, sitting on the roof of their dorm, watching fireworks light up the sky.

“Can’t imagine a better way to ring in the New Year, Bones.”

“I can, Jim. I love you.”

“Love you too Bones.”

@@@@

It was one week until Valentine’s Day and Jim was scrambling to come up with the perfect gift. After hours of brainstorming Jim came up with the answer. Bones, who spent the majority of mealtimes bellyaching at Jim for his poor food choices, had himself one helluva sweet tooth. Jim hopped a bus for downtown and ran into the Ghirardelli store. He quickly explained to the cashier what it was he wanted. Jim left the store twenty minutes later with his purchase. This was going to be the best Valentine’s Day ever.

“What in the name of hell is this, Jim?” Bones asked as he unwrapped Jim’s gift.

“It’s 365 pieces of chocolate, Bones, enough to have one a day until our second Valentine’s Day together.”

@@@@

The problem with Jim’s gift was that he had sweet tooth himself. Every day or two, Jim found himself dipping into Bones’ chocolate supply. “Bones will never miss a piece or three and will probably just think he ate them himself.”

@@@@

The problem with Jim eating Bones’ chocolate was that Bones KNEW he only ate one piece per day. So when October rolled around and Bones found himself holding an empty chocolate box, he had a pretty good idea who the culprit was.

“Know anything about this Jim?” Bones asked as he held the empty chocolate box upside down in front of Jim.

“Damn Bones, you ate an entire year’s worth of chocolate in eight months?”

“No Jim, I ate one piece a day. YOU ate a year’s supply of chocolate in eight months.”

“Bones, are you accusing me of lying to you?”

“No, Jim, I’m coming right out and saying it’s a fact.”

“Fine Bones,” Jim huffed out. “I ate the chocolate, there, you satisfied now?”

“No Jim, I’m quite a long way from being satisfied.”

“Is there any way I can make this up to you Bones?”

Leo smiled an evil smile as he reached a hand down to his stirring cock, nodding his head down at Jim as he continued to palm himself through his jeans.

Jim took the hint and hit his knees, his hands fumbled for Bones’ belt. Once he had the doctor’s pants and boxers down around his ankles, Jim went to work on Bones' thick cock. He alternated mouthing hot, opened mouth kisses along Bones’ length with quick flicks of his tongue. He finally leaned forward enough to take the head of Bones’ cock into his mouth. Jim hummed as the taste of pre-cum floated over his tongue. ‘Fuck chocolate.’ Jim thought, this was the real treat. Jim hollowed his cheeks as he began to lightly suck Bones deeper into his mouth. Bones fisted his hands into Jim’s hair, urging him to take even more of Bones’ heat into his mouth. Jim was more than happy to oblige. Bones stuttered his hips, faster and faster, moaning as Jim was able to take all of him down his throat.

“Gonna…” Bones managed before crying out Jim’s name as he began to spurt down Jim’s throat. When Bones finally managed to untangle his hands from Jim’s hair, he noticed Jim was looking thoroughly debauched. Jim’s chin was slick with his own saliva and traces of Bones' come that he hadn’t managed to swallow. His hair was messed beyond salvation and Jim’s eyes were watery from gagging on Bones cock.

“What’s the moral of the story here Jimmy?”

“Never put things in your mouth that don’t belong to you.”

 

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-catmouse.htm>

 

 

Synopsis of Cat and Mouse in Partnership:

Cat and Mouse fall in love.  
Cat and Mouse move in together.  
They buy food to get through the winter.  
Cat eats the food behind Mouse's back.  
Mouse discovers Cat's deception.  
Cat "swallows" Mouse. (I kid you NOT!)

Hey, I improvised!


	2. The Ugly Duckling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH, if only we all could have Bones around when we have "ugly duckling" moments of our own!
> 
> There is a mention of a canon death in this piece.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 2: The Ugly Duckling

“Fuckin charity case.”

“Killed his own father.”

 “Dirty, cheating, cocksucker.”

James Tiberius Kirk was used to taunts like these. He heard them every day. He was unsure when the words stopped becoming just empty phrases and turned into his inner monologue. Fail a test? Oh, must be because I don’t deserve to be in this school. Get shoved into the street? Must be because I’m a dirty cocksucker.

Each day was much like the day before. “Hey Kirk, ya kill anyone lately?”

Jim didn’t even bother to raise his head to see who had yelled at him. He kept walking toward the library.

“Kirk, you dirty fuck, I’m talking to you.”

Rough hands shoved Jim from behind and he went sprawling to the ground.

“You wanna try that again, asshole?” A deep voice asked from behind him. Jim had managed to crawl some distance away and had turned around to look at his would be rescuer.

“Not talking to you, old man, fuck off.”

“That’s where your wrong, dickwad, it seems you are talkin to me. So, as far as I see things, you’ve got two choices; you either take a swing at me or you WALK. THE. FUCK. AWAY.”

“Fuck you.” Jim’s tormenter said as he turned to walk away.

“No thanks.” The man said as he turned to Jim. He walked to where Jim was still sitting on the ground and knelt down in front of him. He reached out a hand to grab Jim’s face and Jim batted his hand away.

“Hey, I’m a doctor, I won’t hurt you, just wanna get a closer look at that chin lac.”

“At my what?”

“At the laceration on your chin, looks like you scraped it on the ground when you fell. Name’s McCoy, Leonard McCoy.” Leo reached out a hand in greeting.

“Jim Kirk.” Jim did not offer his hand in return.

McCoy stood up and reached his hand down toward Jim, “Come with me.”

Jim looked up into the kind hazel eyes of his rescuer. No one had ever stood up for him like this before. He figured this Doctor McCoy must be new here or something and wasn’t aware of Jim’s infamous past.

Leo sighed. “I know who you are kid. Now let’s go before you bleed out all over the quad.”

Jim reached his hand up to Leo.

****

Several weeks later, Jim found himself in McCoy’s ER with a broken arm.

“What happened, Jim?” McCoy asked.

“Just fix my broken bones, got a lot of studying to do.”

McCoy set to work and once Jim’s arm was being healed by the osteo-regen, he chanced another crack at Jim’s defenses. “Why don’t you ever stand up for yourself, kid?”

“Are you fuckin kidding me Bones, yeah, that’ll go over well, ‘Infamous killer James Kirk assaults fellow student, video at 11.’ No thanks, man.”

“Jim, you didn’t kill your father.”

“Of course I did, everyone knows that.”

“Jim, it was an accident.”

“It was my fault Bones, I was the one who was driving the car.”

“And were you driving the other car too Jim? Were you the one pouring shot after shot of Jack Daniels down the driver’s throat?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Bones.”

“It wasn’t your fault Jim.”

Tears started falling from Jim’s eyes. He took great big gulping breaths of air. “He should have been the one driving Bones, it should have been him, it should have been him instead of me that lived. I don’t deserve to be here.” Jim made to jump off the biobed and Bones caught him up in a hug first.

“I’ve got you Jim, it’s okay. You’re safe.” Bones rubbed his hand in small circles on Jim’s back. When Jim had regained his composure, Leo helped him down off the bed. “I need to show you something, come with me.” Leo grabbed Jim by the elbow and led him out of the medbay. They walked down the corridor until they came to an office door with Bones’ name on it. The door swished open and Leo motioned Jim inside.

“This is your office Bones?”

“Yeah Jim. Come here.”

Jim walked to Bones who reached a hand up to cup Jim’s cheek, then moved his hands to Jim’s shoulders as he gently pressed Jim to turn around. Mounted to the wall near the door was a full-length mirror. Bones had maneuvered Jim so that he could see his entire body in the mirror, he could also see Bones standing behind him.

“What is this Bones?” Jim avoided looking at himself in the mirror, focusing instead on spot higher up on the wall.

“I want you to see what I see when I look at you.”

Jim snorted. “What you see, Bones? No thanks.”

“Sorry Jim.” Bones said, reaching to entwine his hands with Jim’s. “Don’t got much choice in the matter.”

Jim kept his eyes on that spot high up on the wall, but said nothing. He enjoyed the point of contact between his body and McCoy’s. Knew it wouldn’t last long and waited for Bones to pull away.

“First thing I notice every time I look at you are those blue eyes. I never knew it was possible for eyes to be that blue. For the longest time I tried to figure out what that color was, was it the color of the sky, of the ocean, a tropical flower? Finally I realized the color was Jim, just Jim. C’mon darlin, I can stand here all day until you look at your eyes in the mirror.”

“Pretty words Bones, but I’m used to hearing meaningless words.”

“Well, if you won’t look at your own eyes in the mirror, look at mine instead.”

Jim obeyed and looked at Bones in the mirror. His eyes were the color of moss, deep green and sincere. Jim swallowed hard.

Bones smiled at him and continued. “The next thing I see when I look at you is sunshine.” Bones leaned his head forward and kissed Jim’s hair. “I’ve been wondering how soft your hair is, what it would feel like on my fingers.” He raised their joined right hands up and worked their fingers through Jim’s hair. “Feels like warm silk, Jim.” Bones murmured.

Jim continued to stare at Bones in the mirror, let the power of his words wrap around him and Jim held on tight.”

“Then there’s this freckle next to your right ear, Jim. I’ve been wondering what it tastes like.” Bones dipped his head forward and licked a slow stripe up Jim’s neck until he reached the freckle in question.

Jim shivered when Bones’ hot tongue made contact with his skin. He could see the blissed-out look on Bones’ face as his tongue traveled Jim’s neck.

“Then there’s all these muscles.” Bones whispered, drawing their arms up to circle around Jim’s middle. Leo stepped forward,  moving one of his feet between Jim’s and pulling the other man flush against his chest as his chin dipped down to rest on Jim’s shoulder. “Look at us Jim, look at yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see.”

“A dirty cocksucker Bones, that’s what I see.”

Jim felt Bones go stiff behind him. “Is that what you see when you look at me, Jim?”

Jim’s eyes flew up to meet Leo’s in the mirror. “No, Bones, no, that’s not what I see at all.”

“Why not, it’s true enough?”

“Bones.” Jim sighed.

“Well if it’s true for you then its gotta be true for me too, right? Try again Jim. Look at yourself and tell me what you see.”

Jim looked. He saw Bones wrapped around him, in no hurry to let him go. He saw the look in Bones eyes, steady, happy, patient. He darted his eyes up and finally looked at himself, saw the blue of his eyes and the silky strands of his hair. He saw a tiny smile forming on his own face. “I’m happy Bones, for the first time in forever, I’m happy.”

“You’re damn right you’re happy. Take one last look at yourself Jim. This is the last time you’re gonna see yourself through this ugly duckling complex you’ve constructed. From here on out, you’re gonna see what I see; a beautiful, intelligent man with the heart of a lion; a man who is well loved.

Jim gasped at Leo’s confession. “I’m so fucked up Bones. You can’t be in…I love you too, Bones.”

“The rest we’ll figure out together, Jimmy.”

“Together Bones.”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here:  <http://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/68/fairy-tales-and-other-traditional-stories/5107/the-ugly-duckling/>

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Ugly Ducking:
> 
> Duckling is different from everyone else.  
> Duckling is picked on and made to hate itself.  
> Duckling makes a friend.  
> Love transforms Duckling into a beautiful swan.


	3. The Little Match Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my version of The Little Match Girl, which in my mind is one of the most heartbreaking "fairy tales" in existence. 
> 
> There is a MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH in this piece, however the end will make you smile. (Fingers crossed)

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 3: The Little Match Girl

Jim Kirk knew he was dying. He could feel his life’s blood ebbing from his body, could feel himself becoming weaker. He knew he only had moments left and using his comm to reach the other members of his away team would be a waste of what little time he had left. Plus he didn’t want to saddle anyone with the guilt that would come from being unable to save their captain.

All in all, it hadn’t been a bad life, he mused. He had managed to become a starship captain, the youngest one in the history of Starfleet. He traveled the galaxy and back and made a positive difference in the lives he touched. Jim supposed if he had one regret in life it would be that he had never known love. Oh sure he had _known love_ in the physical sense, but it wasn’t the same thing as having one person who knew you inside and out and who was there for you no matter what.

The one disappointment he had at the moment aside from his own death being seconds away was that he wasn’t going to get the chance to say goodbye to his friends. Spock was his best friend and the best first officer he had ever served with. Uhura spoke a million languages and had always been a good friend to Jim. Scotty was a master with the Enterprise’s warp core and Jim’s favorite drinking buddy. Chekov’s quick mind had saved the Enterprise and her crew more times then Jim could remember. Then there was Sulu and his endless discussions on alien plant life, but one made exceptions for the best pilot in the ‘fleet. Lastly was Doctor Boyce who never quite fit in with Jim or any of his crew. Jim always got the feeling Boyce was never meant to serve on board the Enterprise.

“Howdy there Jim.”

Jim looked up to see a tall stranger walking toward him. The man was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. He had dark hair and the most amazing hazel eyes Jim had ever seen. “Of course I meet the man of my dreams on my deathbed.” Jim mumbled offering his hand to the stranger.

The man smiled and took Jim’s offered hand as he lay down on the ground next to him. “McCoy, Leonard McCoy. You can call me Leo.”

“Leo, who are you?”

“Well Jim, that’s a bit of a long story. The short answer is that I am your soul mate.”

“My soul mate?”

“Yes, we’re destined to always find and love each other no matter what universe we find ourselves born into.”

“Hate to break this to you Leo, but my time here’s just about up.”

“I know Jimmy, that’s why I’m here.”

“Why weren’t we able to find each other?”

“I was never born into this particular universe Jim.”

“Why not?”

“Because the man who was responsible for the death of your father Jim, was also responsible for the death of my father too. David McCoy was a medical officer on board the USS Kelvin. He never made it off the ship. He had been trying to save his fellow crewmen right up to the very end.”

“How do you know all of these things?”

“I’ve spent all these years watching over you Jim and waiting for the moment we would be reunited. I’ve been with you every step of the way. Making sure you were never alone and always loved.”

Jim’s grip on Leo’s hand slackened. “What happens now Leo?” Jim’s voice was a whisper.

“We move on to our next adventure together.”

“How will I find you again?”

Leo leaned down and kissed Jim’s lips, he whispered one last word, “Bones.”

****

Jim Kirk was really not interested in learning that space was disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence. He wished the grizzled man sitting next to him would just shut up so that he could catch a nap on the long shuttle flight to San Francisco. “Ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://www.online-literature.com/hans_christian_andersen/981/>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Little Match Girl:
> 
> Small girl is selling matches on a cold night to help support her family.  
> Girl is slowly freezing to death.  
> Girl lights unsold matches to keep herself warm and sees the beauty of heaven in the fire.  
> Girl sees her beloved grandmother who leads her to heaven.
> 
> What can I say about death fic? I feel like the fairy Meriwether from Sleeping Beauty, who was unable to reverse the death curse placed on the Princess Aurora, but was able to temper it in her own fashion. The only way I could forgive myself for doing this was to turn this from death fic into resurrection fic! Jim and Bones are still speaking to me so I must have done something right. I hope you think so too!
> 
> This is my first foray into death/resurrection fic, so let me know what you think.


	4. The Frog Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a modern day version of the Frog Prince.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 4: The Frog Prince

**_“OH, I got friends in low places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away and I’ll be okay.”_ **

Leo slapped his new bestest karaoke pal named? Named? Jim, yeah, yeah, his name’s Jim. “One for the road Jimmy, le’s have one more for the road.”

“C’mon Bones, I think we’ve had enough for one night, let’s get you home.”

“Wassa matter Jimmy, ‘fraid you’ll turn inta a frog if’n your not home by midnight?”

“Something like that Bones. Let’s go.” Of course, Jim thought, the one night he meets a smokin hot guy and the guy is drunker than his step-father on payday. FML…

Once they finally reached the door to Bones’ fifth floor walk-up, Jim felt like his heart was going to explode. Jim was in pretty good shape, but it wasn’t easy supporting 180 unwieldy pounds of piss-drunk southerner. “Here we go Princess, home sweet home.”

“Y’think I’m a pretty Princess, Jimmy?” Bones batted his eyelashes at Jim, or at least he thought he did.

“Sure Bones, my pretty Princess.” He somehow managed to maneuver Bones into the bedroom and sat him on the bed. Jim stripped Bones’ coat off and unbuttoned his plaid shirt, slipping the material off very broad shoulders. “Lay back on the bed pretty Princess.”

“Y’didn’t say th’ magic word, Jimmy.” Bones waggled a finger in Jim’s direction.

Seriously? “Please lay back on the bed Princess.”

“Y’wish is my command, Jimmy.” Bones started to giggle like a twelve year old girl.

Jim knelt down and made quick work of taking off Bones’ shoes and socks. He stood up and went for the button of Bones’ jeans.

Bones stopped giggling. “Y’makin a pass at me Jimmy?”

“Of course not Princess, your virtue is safe with me.” Fifteen endless minutes later, Jim managed to get Bones’ pants off. I should get an award for this, some kind of fuckin award, Jim thought. “Night Bones.” Jim leaned down and placed a hand on Leo’s shoulder.

Leo whipped his arm out as Jim was turning away and grabbed his hand. “Don’ leave Jim, please don’ leave me.”

“Okay Princess, you sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

****

“Jim, uhhhm, this is Leonard McCoy, we were uhhhm at McSorley’s bar last night. Just wanted to say thanks for getting me home, hope the couch wasn’t too lumpy. So, ah, thanks.”

END OF FINAL MESSAGE

Well, Jim surely wasn’t expecting to hear from Bones. After all he had promised to be there when Bones woke up but once noon rolled around and the man was still out cold, Jim had jotted a quick note, hesitated before leaving his phone number and was out the door.

****

“Jim, can you hear me? Jim? Open your eyes Jim.”

Jim could feel a warm hand on his shoulder, could hear a honey-sweetened Southern drawl calling his name. It hurt too damn much to even try to open his eyes, he settled for a low moan instead, which triggered a mad coughing jag. Strong arms lifted him forward and he felt a hand rubbing his back.

“That’s it Jim.” The voice coaxed and Jim felt a plastic mask lower into place covering his mouth and nose. “Breathe as deeply and as slowly as you can.”

Jim listened to the familiar voice and drew in a breath. His throat felt like he had swallowed lava. Just what in hell was going on? “W’happened?” Jim managed to croak.

“Apartment fire, the firemen got to you just before the roof collapsed. You’re lucky to be alive, Jimmy.”

Jimmy? THAT’S why the voice sounded familiar… Jim opened his eyes and saw no other man than Doctor Leonard “Karaoke is my life” McCoy standing next to his hospital bed, dressed in surgeons scrubs. “Bones? What’re you doing here?”

“You’re at my hospital Jim, my name and number were in your wallet, so the paramedics called me while the ambulance was in route. I was in the emergency room when you were brought in.”

“How bad?”

“Some minor first degree burns and some smoke inhalation. I’m keeping you overnight for observation, you can go hom-” Leo ducked his head, unable to believe he was about to say Jim could go home in the morning. “You’ll be discharged in the morning, Jim.”

“Guess I don’t have a home to go back to, do I Bones?”

“Of course you do, Jim. I’m taking you home with me. My spare bedroom has your name written all over it.”

“Home? With you?”

“One good turn deserves another, Jim.”

****

Jim was expecting his time living with Bones to be a complete and total nightmare. He could not have been more wrong. They had settled into a comfortable and easy rhythm, Bones would make breakfast when he came home from his overnight shifts at the hospital and would tell Jim about his day. Jim would tell Bones about his days as a software designer as he made dinner before the doctor headed out for his shifts at the hospital. Jim enjoyed having someone to share his time with and found himself thinking what it would be like if he and Bones were sharing more than just an apartment.

Bones had said he wanted Jim to stay for as long as he needed a place and if Jim had been honest with himself that point in time came weeks ago when his bank account hit the magic number he had calculated it would cost to be able to replace all that he lost as well as being able to furnish three months rent in advance.  Jim had almost told Bones about this several times in the last week, but every time he opened his mouth to tell his friend the good news, his heart broke a little.

It was Friday night, Jim had been looking forward to this night since it was the first time in weeks he and Bones would have an entire night off together.

“I can hear you thinking from here, Jim, what’s on your mind?”

“Bones, I-” Come on Kirk, how hard can it be, just say, ‘Bones, I have enough money to move out, but I don’t want to move out, I want to stay here with you because-’  “I love you Bones.” ‘OH FUUUUUCK.’

“What now, Jim?”

“God, Bones, I-”

“That’s what I thought you said Jim.” Leo got up from the couch and walked to the door of the apartment, stopping to pick up his jacket.

“Bones, don’t go, wait! Let’s just talk about this please. You don’t need to love me back. I, I just needed you to know how I feel. I want you to know how important you’ve become to me.”

Leo gave Jim a sad smile and walked out the door.

****

“He certainly is a handsome lad, me boyo.” Leo pulled his phone back, shut off the picture display and stuck his phone back in his pocket.

“Scotty what do I do? The ink’s barely dry on my divorce. Going through that once almost killed me. I can’t risk getting hurt like that again. I won’t survive a second time.”

Aside from Jim, Scotty was the only friend Leo had left in the world. He was the only one of he and Jocelyn’s joint friends who took his side when the divorce hit the fan. Scotty went so far as to pack up his life in Georgia and moved out to San Francisco when Leo did. “Leo listen, the divorce was final over a year ago. The marriage was over long before that blessed day. Wha’ happen with Joce was no’ your fault. You said it yourself earlier that you and Jim have so much in common. Now say what you will about Joce, but that was never true of the two of ye. When you laughed last week and I almost fell out of my chair? That was because it was the first time I had heard that sound in nearly a year, man.”

“Bullshit, Scotty.”

“Jim’s given you yer life back Leo, don’t you think maybe he deserves a chance to win your heart as well?”

****

It was dark when Leo got back to the apartment. “JIM?” Nothing… He started flipping on lights in the apartment. Jim wasn’t in the living room or kitchen. Leo ran into his bedroom and that was empty as was their shared bathroom. The only other place Jim could be was his room, unless of course Jim had left him. His hands were shaking as he raised them to push open Jim’s bedroom door. “Jim?”

“Here, Bones.”

Leo thought Jim’s voice was coming from the bed and he moved to switch on Jim’s bedroom light.

“Leave it off Bones, don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what Jim?”

“Defeated.”

“Jim, I’m sorry I ran out earlier. I should have stayed and talked this all out with you. Actually, I should have told you all of this a long time ago, but I was scared. Scared to say these words out loud and more scared that you would leave me. Why don’t you have a hot shower and I’ll call out for dim sum. We can talk over dinner. What do you say?”

“Sure Bones, don’t forget the extra hot mustard, ‘k?”

“You got it Jimmy.”

****

“Okay Bones, talk. I’m listening.”

“The night we met Jim, was the one year anniversary of my divorce. That’s why I was drunk out of my mind and easily coerced into singing really bad Garth Brooks karaoke.”

“Coerced Bones? Singing Garth was all your idea man.” Jim smiled at his friend.

“Yeah well, I hated myself that night for having so much to drink. I figured there was no way in hell I deserved someone like you in my life, so I just kept drinking.  I was so embarrassed the next afternoon when I woke up to find your note. I remembered a couple of things from that night, like you hauling me up the stairs and calling me ‘Princess.’ Then when you didn’t return my call, I just figured I’d fucked up completely and you weren’t interested in me.”

“Bones, I just couldn’t deal with another drunk in my life.”

“I know Jim and I respect that about you. I should have told you all of this the night you told me about Frank, but I couldn’t get the words out. Jocelyn and I married way to young, I was already married to my career and working crazy hours, she needed someone who could mollycoddle her, be there for her constantly and that just wasn’t me. She met this guy at work and that was that. A few weeks later she asked for a divorce.”

“How long were you married Bones?”

“Almost four years Jim. I meant my vows when I said them, did everything in my power to make our marriage work and it wasn’t enough. I’m afraid if I let myself get with you the same thing would happen to us.”

Jim stood up and walked to Bones. He knelt down beside his chair and set his hands on top of Leo’s giving them a small squeeze. “Did you ever think Bones that even though you were doing everything in your power, that maybe she wasn’t giving the same effort back to you?”

“That thought never crossed my mind, Jim.”

Jim stood and pulled Leo up with him. He untangled their hands and wrapped his arms around Leo’s hips. Bones threw his arms around Jim’s back and rested his head on Jim’s shoulder. “Of course you deserve me Bones, we deserve each other. We deserve to be happy.”

Leo picked his head up from Jim’s shoulder and leaned in to kiss him. He could feel Jim hum happily against his lips.

“If you’re the Princess Bones, does that make me your Prince?”

Bones laughed. “Yeah Jim, if you’ll have me.”

“I’ve kissed my fair share of frogs Bones, I’m not letting go now that I have a Princess in my arms.”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/FrogPrin.shtml>

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Frog Prince:
> 
> Princess finds Frog.  
> Frog helps Princess.  
> King advises Princess to give Frog a chance.  
> Princess lets Frog live with her.  
> Frog falls in love with Princess.  
> Princess realizes she is worthy of Frog’s love.  
> Princess falls in love with Frog.
> 
> This is one of those Fairy Tales I think we are all familiar with and surprisingly has a happy ending. 
> 
> The mental picture of Doctor Leonard Horatio "Karaoke is my Life" McCoy giggling like a 12-year old girl is the gift that keeps on giving. The next time you are having a bad day go on and think about our favorite grumpy cat and his high pitched giggle, laughing so hard he's bent over double, eventually ending up on the floor. Getting himself almost back under control, before he snorts and breaks out in another wave of fresh giggles, laughing so hard now his face is red and tears are streaming down his cheeks.


	5. Little Red Riding Hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Red Riding Hood. Only Bones could play two roles at once!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 5: Little Red Riding Hood

Bones is sick. He has a reputation for being the most ornery patient in the history of Starfleet, but that’s just a brilliant cover for the fact that one Leonard Horatio McCoy is just a big baby.  He mopes around his quarters wearing a scratchy wool hat and matching scarf, both presents from the skilled 90 year old hands of Miss Elizabeth herself, legendary hands run in the McCoy family, after all. He is also wearing Jim’s oldest and most favorite Riverside Raiders t-shirt and a pair of worn, flannel sleep pants.

Bones heard the swoosh of the automatic door and Jim’s tip-toeing footsteps. “Jesus Christ on a pogo stick Jim, could you walk any louder?”

“You’re awake baby.” Jim whispered.

“Stop yellin, they can hear you on Orion, Jim.”

“Feeling better Bonesy?”

“M’nose is stuffed, my chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it and the only thing that doesn’t ache is my hair.”

“Great! I brought you some soup.”

“Fuck me in zero gravity Jim, don’ wan’ no soup.”

“C’mon Bones, it’s your favorite.” Jim’s voice took on a sing-song tone.

“Don’ make me get out of this bed. I may be on death’s door, but I can still kick y’ass Jimbo, just you try me.”

“Okay, who is this ferocious wolf in my bed and what have you done with my sweet, adorable Bones?”

“Sweet and adorable? Y’sure you're not runnin a fever too, Jim?”

“Oh, I know what you want Booooones, c’mon baby boy, how about a snuggle?”Jim could hear Bones mumble to himself. JACKPOT!

Jim climbed into bed and made sure the covers were tucked around his shoulders just the way he liked and then pulled Leo’s head to lay on his chest. “How’s that Bones?” Jim could feel Bones rumble contentedly in his chest. Jim would almost say it sounded like the big, bad, wolf just purred like a kitten, but not having a death wish today prevented Jim from saying that out loud. “Would you like a story, Bones, hmm?”

Jim felt Bones nod his head, yes.

“Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her, but most of all by her grandmother, and there was nothing that she would not have given to the child. Once she gave her a little riding hood of red velvet, which suited her so well that she would never wear anything else; so she was always called 'Little Red Riding Hood’”

 

 

Read the original Fariy Tale here: <http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/LittRed.shtml>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of Little Red Riding Hood”  
> Red brings food to sick Grandmother.  
> Wolf wants to eat Red.  
> Wolf hightails it to Grandmother’s house and eats her.  
> Red knows the Wolf tricked her.  
> Wolf gets his.
> 
> We are all familiar with the exploits of Little Red Riding Hood. It struck me, what if the grandmother was also the wolf? Which of course led me to the idea that Bones is a bit of a multiple personality when he’s sick, bless his heart. Don’t worry, Jim eventually got Bones to eat his soup. He had to revert to playing airplane with the spoon, BUT all’s well that ends well!


	6. The Blue Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my take on The Blue Light. We're in the Mirrorverse. 
> 
> Be aware this is violent with a lot of bad language and sex. There are characters death in this piece, however they are canon.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 6: The Blue Light

A Game of Bones

“Gonna carve your fuckin heart out an’ dance in your blood.” Scotty whispered just before his blade kissed Jim’s skin.

Jim Kirk knew this moment would come; it had been building for months. Jim should have known Scotty had not only the ambition but the inexorable will to carry this plan out. Scotty made it plain he would become the first officer of the ISS Enterprise, a position Jim had held for two years. Jim’s fatal mistake was in thinking his position in Pike’s bed actually meant the Captain would lift a finger to stop this from happening. Jim had guessed wrong and now he would pay the ultimate price for being weak; for trusting not just the wrong person, but for trusting at all.

Scotty was a Picasso with his blade, this would not end well or quickly.  
****

Jim sucked in a deep breath and opened his eyes. “I’m alive?”

“Just barely Jim.” Pike ran a finger down the side of Jim’s face. “Guess my pretty boy isn’t so pretty anymore, is he? But I guess if I flip you over and fuck you from behind this last time it won’t matter much, will it Jim?”

“Captain, I-”

“Roll over Jim, don’t make me ask you again.”

Jim obeyed, wincing in pain as he felt stitches pull in chest. He felt the mattress dip, felt Pike grab his hips roughly from behind, there would be bruises later if Jim survived this encounter.

Pike gathered spit in his mouth and let it fly to the pucker of Jim’s ass. He took himself in hand and rammed home. Jim screamed.

“Jim, Jim, Jim,” Pike cooed. “When will you learn that your screams only make my cock harder?” Pike pulled out of Jim’s ass completely and stabbed his cock home again. Jim tried and failed to bite back another scream.

“Got some bad news for you Jim.” Pike said as he once again pulled himself free of Jim’s ass only to plunge himself back to the root with savage force.

What could possibly be fucking worse than this, Jim wondered. He was smart enough to keep that comment to himself remembering the last time he had spoken to Pike unbidden during sex. The scar down the side of his left cheek was a daily reminder of what happened to fuck toys who didn’t follow the rules.

“Good boy Jim, such a good boy, remembering your lesson to not speak until you’re given permission.” Pike was now setting a brutal pace, his cock was a battering ram, fucking Jim easily now, Jim knew his blood was serving as lube. Pike wrapped his hands around Jim throat and squeezed as he emptied his balls into Jim’s ravaged ass.

“You’re off the Enterprise and out of Starfleet, Jim. I can’t afford to have weak men serve beneath me.” Pike accentuated the word “beneath” to make sure Jim caught the duality of the word. “But don’t worry, I have a friend who is willing to take you on now that you’ve been broken.”  
****

“Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott”

“Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott”

“Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott”

Jim repeated this mantra again and again until the words gained power and the names became impotent. Jim would never forget the lessons learned aboard the ISS Enterprise nor the ones taught in private by her captain. Jim looked around the transporter room one last time. Vowing in his head to return and dance in the blood of those who underestimated him.  
****

“Christopher Pike is one sick fuck, I am ever so… gratified we could negotiate your purchase price, slave. I’m Gaila. You will call me Mistress, are we understood?”

Jim remained silent and would not meet the eyes of the Orion woman. He could feel her potent pheromones working in his bloodstream. He bit his tongue hard enough to taste blood as a means to counteract the violent nausea roiling through his stomach. 

“Slave! You will answer when I address you.”

“Yes Mistress.” Jim mumbled. Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott, Gaila.

Three weeks passed. Gaila tried everything in considerable arsenal to arouse Jim Kirk. She tried pain, blood (Jim’s own and others), electricity, phasers, other well endowed male slaves and one ill fated blowjob that went nowhere before coming to the decision Jim Kirk must die. “Limp-dicked slaves serve no practical purpose James. If you cannot amuse me in life, you will amuse me in death.”

Gaila stepped away from Jim and over to a panel in the wall. Jim could see there were rows and rows of buttons, all of them white, but for the last, which was blue. She pressed the blue button and an anguished scream echoed from far away. Moments later a timeworn, scruffy man wearing blue surgeon’s scrubs entered the chamber. “Leonard McCoy meet James Kirk.  James Kirk meet Leonard McCoy.” She said by way of introduction. “Leonard, James is going to be your new lab assistant. I trust you have experiments that James will be…useful in helping you complete?”

“Yes Mistress. I have an experiment for which Mr. Kirk is eminently suited.”

“Out of my sight, both of you.”

“Come with me.” Leonard ordered.

Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott, Gaila, Leonard McCoy.  
****

Leonard led Jim into a sterile-looking stainless steel laboratory. Once they were safely inside and Leonard had initiated the locking mechanism, Jim slammed his fist into the other man’s face and kicked his legs out from under him. Leonard smashed to the floor and began to laugh.

“Something funny?”

“Yeah Jim,” Leonard said, regaining his feet and swiping away blood from his nose with his sleeve. “Hit me harder next time that one tickled.”

Jim cocked his arm back and his fist flew forward toward McCoy, who had an unimpressed look on his face as he caught Jim’s fist in his hand. McCoy squeezed until he heard Jim’s joints start to pop under the pressure. He could feel Jim’s bones grind against each other.  He squeezed until he had Jim Kirk on his knees. “Here’s how it’s gonna go, Princess. You’re gonna sit your ass down and listen to what I have to offer you. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Breaking bones makes my cock hard, so don’t tempt me. I can be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare. Decide now.” Leonard squeezed Jim’s fist harder, his cock twitched in response.

It was Jim’s turn to laugh. “My greatest ally huh, explain how that’s possible old man, in case you haven’t noticed you’re a prisoner too.”

 “Am I Jim? Sometimes it takes more than iron bars to construct a prison.” Leonard released Jim’s hand.

“Oh really Bones, so what constructs your prison? Enlighten me.”

“Revenge.”

McCoy had Jim’s complete attention now. “Revenge, Bones? What could you possibly know about revenge?”

Bones leaned forward and pulled off his scrub top. Jim noticed the other man was a work of art. His torso appeared to be sculpted out of marble. His arms were long and the muscles were defined and worked to perfection. Jim wasn’t sure what Bones being shirtless had to do with revenge, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to complain.  “What do I know about revenge Jim?” Bones turned around. Lovingly carved into Bones perfect skin from shoulder to shoulder was one highly stylized word: PIKE.

“I’m listening.”

****

Bones shrugged back into his shirt. He noticed the hungry way Jim’s eyes had skimmed over his flesh. Found himself wanting Jim’s calloused hands and sharp teeth to follow the same path. He would file that knowledge away for later.

“I was the Chief Medical Officer on board the Enterprise when Pike took over command of the ship.” Took over command? Bones laughed to himself. It was a bloodbath; forty-eight hours after the massacre ended, he was still piecing crewman back together. His cock twitched again as his mind recalled the pile of unclaimed limbs that sat on an empty biobed in the morgue.

“I was a good doctor then, took pride in my work, saved lives, made a difference.” Bones walked to his desk, opened a drawer, grabbed a bottle and drank deeply. He wiped his mouth with his blood stained sleeve.  “That ended the day Christopher Pike came on board. Pike commed me and told me to come to his office. I was still bloody from surgery, but Pike said there would be time to clean up later. He had a job for me to do.”

Jim could see the other man’s hands shake as they held the neck of the bottle. Jim wasn’t sure if they were shaking from fear, rage or some other unnamed emotion.

“When I got to Pike’s office, he was balls deep in some whore’s bloody ass. Every so often Pike would slip and skid on the blood that had pooled on the floor. I remember noticing not one inch of her skin had been spared; there was a rainbow of bruises everywhere and she had been sliced open with precision. I thought she would have the most beautiful scars when her skin healed. When Pike was finished fucking her, he turned the woman around so I could see her face. It was my wife, Jim. The woman Pike had been fucking, beating and carving up was my own wife.  He sliced her throat open and threw her body at me. Pike laughed as he ordered me to save her life. I couldn’t of course, but Pike knew that, and she bled out on the floor in front of me. Of course Pike had to punish me for violating a direct order… I vowed one day I would be the one carving Pike open.”

“Wow Bones, how cliché. Wanting revenge on the man who killed your beloved wife? BORING.”

Bones strode to where Jim was standing and slammed him back against the wall, caging Jim’s body with his arms. “It should have been me, Jim.” Bones whispered, leaning in to bite the sensitive skin just below Jim’s left ear.  “It should have been my blade kissing her skin.”  Bones kicked Jim’s feet apart, hitching his pelvis forward into Jim. It shouldn’t have surprised him when his erection collided with Jim’s, but it did anyway. Bones could feel his blood singing through his veins as his arousal became all consuming. “It should have been my fingers, drenched and slipping in her blood, my lips should have been the ones to capture her last breath.” Bones crushed his lips into Jim’s, his hands coming up to rest on Jim’s shoulder’s, thumbs pressing into the soft skin shielding Jim’s pulse points.

Jim stiffened briefly against Bones, felt the other man’s hot erection brush against his own and Jim was helpless to fight back, found he didn’t want to fight back. Bones was biting Jim’s lips then licking the marks he’d left behind. Jim shoved back at Bones, breaking the contact between their mouths. He noticed blood on Bones’ lips, brought his fingers up to touch his own ravaged lips, his fingers came away bloody. Jim pressed his crimson fingers toward the doctor. Green fire burned in McCoy’s eyes as he stepped back into Jim’s space, his tongue flicked out to lick across his plush bottom lip. McCoy smirked at Jim as he leaned in and stroked his tongue out over Jim’s fingers, moaning, as the essence of Jim Kirk danced across his taste buds.

McCoy could feel Jim’s eyes burning into his own. He kept eye contact with Kirk as the other man’s fingers hit the back of Bones’ throat. Bones’ hollowed his cheeks and began to suck on Jim’s fingers as he twirled his tongue back and forth against the digits that were roughly fucking his mouth.  Jim brought his other hand up and grabbed into a handful of hair at the back of McCoy’s head. Jim ripped his fingers out of McCoy’s mouth, quickly wiping them against Bones’ cheek. Jim’s eyes dropped down to his aching cock, bouncing up again to meet McCoy’s head on. Bones arched an eyebrow, nodded briefly and sank to his knees.

With strong, steady hands Bones make quick work of taking down Jim’s trousers and boxers. Jim’s cock was a sight to behold, thick and veiny with a slight bend to the left. Bones could feel his mouth start to water in anticipation. Wanting to save his prize for last, he pushed Jim’s thighs back and began to lave Kirk’s balls. Kirk tasted like desperation; bitter and salty, mixed with a flavor that was Kirk’s own.

“You want revenge against Pike because it was HIS blade that sliced your wife apart, rather than your own?” Jim panted out, twining his hands in McCoy hair and pushed his face back from his sack.

“Boy you catch on quick.”

Jim hauled Bones’ face back to his cock. Bones swallowed Jim to the hilt and began to hum deep in his throat, his tongue roughly flicking out over Jim’s length.  Jim moaned, his fingers tightening in Bones’ hair. He held the other man still as he fucked Bones mouth savagely, using every reserve of strength he possessed. Jim growled low in his throat as his orgasm broke through and he kept fucking McCoy’s face through a series of after-shocks. When his cock began to soften he shoved Bones to the floor.

McCoy looked up at Kirk through veiled eyes. “I have a plan.”

 Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott, Gaila, ~~Leonard McCoy~~.

****

The plan was simple: kill Gaila.

It turned out Bones’ prison really was of his own making. Once Gaila realized where his real talents lie, they formed a rather uneasy partnership; Gaila fucked any and everything thrown her way and McCoy helped her dispose of the cold corpses of those who had given their lives in service to the Empire. Bones’ reward for this was his freedom, such as it was. Where the fuck else did he have to go?

The plan was so simple it was almost childish. Bones was still welcomed in Gaila’s bed, so it would be his job to occupy her attention while Jim snuck in and sliced her to ribbons; beautiful, dripping ribbons of excised flesh. Jim’s cock was rock hard just thinking about all the blood.

When Jim snuck into Gaila’s chamber he could feel the pheromones she was putting off and could hear loud moans as Bones appeared to be giving her the rim job of a lifetime. Good thing too, since it would also be the last rim job of her lifetime. Jim watched Bones go to town on Gaila’s ass, it wasn’t until he got closer that he noticed McCoy was using his left hand to fist Gaila’s dripping pussy.

“Fuck me now, dammit, McCoy.”

“Aww, darlin,” Bones drawled, as his fist punched deeper into Gaila. “I’m gonna fuck ya real soon, real soon.  Fuck you in a way you’ll never forget.”

Jim’s cock was so hard it could cut diamond. Bones smoky southern accent combined with the things his tongue was doing almost made him cream his pants. He crept up behind Bones and grabbed his balls from behind, giving a small squeeze.  Jim shucked out of his own clothes quietly, there was no need to ruin his clothes with blood stains after all. As he was doing that, Bones had flipped Gaila over on to her back, using his right hand to hold her eyes closed so she would’nt notice Jim until it was far, far too late.  Jim walked back to Bones, running a hand up Bones’ back, using a finger to errantly trace the letters of Pike’s name carved into his back.

“Gotta surprise for ya.” Bones whispered low into her ear.

Gaila could feel cold steel pressed against her skin and moaned loudly. “Now, McCoy, NOW.”

“Oh you’re gonna get it now.” Bones pulled one hand away from Gaila’s eyes and ripped the other from her snatch. She screamed in pain and confusion as she finally realized someone else was in the room. She struggled to get up as her eyes focused on the look of twisted glee in the eyes of Jim Kirk.

Jim walked forward, dragging his blade up Gaila’s skin as he went; slicing, dicing. He dipped a finger into the freshly welling blood and painted it onto McCoy’s skin, marking him. McCoy did the same to Jim in return. Once Jim had his fill with shallow cuts, he walked to where McCoy had Gaila’s head pressed into the bed. He leaned forward over her and kissed Bones, their tongues lazily dueling with each other. Jim bit Bones’ bottom lip as he pulled back and the two men smiled manically at each other.

“Close your eyes, Bones.” Jim whispered. McCoy obeyed.

Jim slashed Gaila’s throat. McCoy moaned loudly as he was hit with the first wave of arterial spray. The second gush had him coming all over the bed.  When Bones had regained his breath he released Gaila’s corpse and backed away, wiping his bloodied face on the bed.

“So fucking hot Bones.” Jim teased as his eyes roamed the contours of Bones’ blood spattered body.

“That enough blood for ya, Jim?”

“Not even close.”

Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott, ~~Gaila~~.

****

Jim was on his knees between Bones’ spread legs, bobbing up and down on Bones’ cock. “Keep outlining how you plan to get us back on board the Enterprise, Bones or I stop sucking your cock.”

“This Scotty fella, can he be trust-…uhhhnnn” Bones lost his train of thought as Jim began to tongue his slit.

“Boooones.” Jim warned.

“Uhhm, right, Scotty, does he wanna be captain? Jim, please…” Bones begged.

“It makes my cock so hard to watch you beg me Bones, good boy. Captain? Not sure Bones, why?”

“Jimmmm.” Bones hitched his hips closer to Jim’s mouth.

“Uh, uh, uhhh, Bones. STAY.” Jim pushed McCoy’s legs as far back as they could go and watched as Bones’ head fell back and his eyes closed. “Captain, Bones?”

“Don’ wanna be captain Jim.”

Jim bit his cheek to avoid smiling. “You were asking about Scotty and being captain.”

“Ohhhh, yeah. Scotty wants to be First Officer, so let him be your First Offic-  FUCK ME Jim, that’s good… ahhhh.”

“Sorry Bones, I missed the end of that.” Jim took Bones in hand as he dipped his head to lick at Bones pucker.

“He’s the First Officer, you wanna be the Captain, if he agrees, he can help- Jimmmmm.”

“He can help me what, Bones?”

“Jim, gonna come.”

“Don’t you fucking dare Bones, did I give you permission to come?” Jim did smile now.

“Noooo, Jim.” Bones tried to take a deep breath to bring himself back from the edge.

“Good boy Bones, such a good boy.”  Jim lowered his head to the head of Bones’ cock, pausing just before licking out, “Scotty, Bones, what about him?”

Bones whimpered like a wounded animal. He wasn’t going to last much longer. “Scotty knows the warp thingy, Jim. He can get you back on board…Please Jim, pleeeease.”

“Deep breath, Bones.” Jim was lightly rubbing Bones thighs but blowing on the wet head of Bones’ cock. “By ‘warp thingy’ do you mean the mythical trans-warp equation?”  Jim sucked Bones down to the root and swallowed him into his throat.

“Fuccccck Jim, fuck. I need…Jim.”

Jim backed off. “No Bones. Finish. The. Plan.”

“Yeah Jim, the t-t-trans-warp thing. It works, Pike’s kept it secret.” Bones was panting. “He can get you b-back on b-board. Jimmmm.”

“Why would he do that Bones?”

“P-P-Pike, Jim. P-please c-can I come, Jim?”

“No, Bones, not yet, just a little longer.” Jim fingered Bones’ hole, “Such a good boy, Bones. Tell me the end.”

“If P-Pike c-carved me up and k-killed my wife, an, an let S-Scotty cut y-you, Wha’s, he d-doin to Scotty now? You’re the l-lesser of two evils.” Bones’ breath was ragged and he howled as Jim brushed his sweet spot. “P-P-Please Jim, p-please, need’ta, come.”

Jim stared into Bones’ eyes, watched the need and fear of disappointing Jim, play across his beautiful face. Jim simply nodded.

“Fuuuuck, J-Jim, uuuuunnnggg.” Bones flew apart all at once, coming so hard his torso spasmed forward and he couldn’t catch his breath. “Jimmmm.”

“Such a good boy, Bones.”

Jim was sure Scotty was paying the price for being First Officer. Question was, was it a price Scotty was comfortable paying? If not, this plan could work. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and Christopher Pike had a way of making enemies.   It would all depend on Scotty’s willingness to work with them. If Scotty was against them, no matter, it was simply more blood for Jim’s blade.

Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, Montgomery Scott, ~~Gaila~~.

****

 “Well, Jim, I must say this comes as a surprise. Thought that Orion bitch would’a killed you by now.” Bones had put through the request for a sub-space comm through Gaila’s terminal. Scotty seemed eager to speak with his predecessor.

“I thought you would have learned by now how unwise it is to underestimate me, Scotty.”

“What do you wan’ Jim?”

“You’re looking a little worse for wear Scotty, how are you enjoying your new position?

“I’m enjoyin it just fine, Jim. Now what do you want?” Scotty winced as he shifted position in his seat.

“I want you to beam me back to the Enterprise, now.”

“Impossible Jim, we’re nowhere close to Orion.”

“I’m going to give you one chance to amend that answer Scotty.” Jim’s eyes were deadly.

The look on Jim’s face made Scotty wish the two had never met. “Fine Jim. You’re right, it’s possible to beam you back to the ship. Why should I do this for you Jim? Wha’s in it for me?”

“Has Pike carved up your back or your ass yet Scotty?”

“How is he any worse than you Jim?”

“I’m not interested in your back or your ass Scotty. Just interested in the Captain’s chair, and in gutting Pike like a fish.”

“I remain First Officer Jim?”

“Until someone bleeds you dry for the post Scotty.”

“Am I still in your crosshairs Jim? You gonna gut me like a fish too?”

“You get me on board the Enterprise and into Pikes quarters Scotty and you get a brand new lease on life. You’re the best engineer in the ‘fleet and I want you on MY ship.”

“Send me your coordinates.”

Bones was fucking brilliant. Of course Pike was making life and sitting down a miserable experience for his new meat, new First Officer, rather.

Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, ~~Montgomery Scott~~ , ~~Gaila~~.

****

Jim Kirk was once again standing in the transporter room of the ISS Enterprise the only difference this time was that he had Bones and a plan.

“Where the hell is Scotty, Jim?”

“He’ll be here, he said he’d be here.” Jim could feel the tension radiating off Bones, he reined himself in so that Bones would not get the same vibe from him.

Scotty breezed into the transporter room with two security guards close behind. “Turn ‘round, let’s tie your hands and get this show on the road.”

“Scotty, never forget I carry the kiss of your blade, fuck us over and there won’t be a place you can hide where I won’t find you.”

“Fuck you, Jim. I’ve tied the ropes so that to everyone else you will both appear to be secured. All you need to do is twist left then right and the knot will loosen. Got it?”

Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. Christopher Pike, ~~Montgomery Scott~~ , ~~Gaila~~.

****

Scotty led them to the door of Pike’s quarters. He pointed to each of the guards, indicating where they were to stand and pressed the door buzzer.

“Enter.”

“Hello, _Captain_.” Jim drawled.

Pike felt the blood freeze in his veins. “Well this is a surprise.” Pike was dressed in his command gold. He stared at McCoy and Kirk hungrily, not knowing which of these two he was going to fuck first, and really, did it matter, he was man enough to take them both on at the same time. He thought about his name carved into McCoy’s skin and the way seeing it always made his dick impossibly hard. He was going to enjoy this and then he was going to make them kill each other. “How in fuck did you two get here and where’s Scotty?”

“The whereabouts of MY first officer are no longer your concern.” For the first time in two years, Jim felt a peace steal over him. He knew for certain he was where he belonged.

“Oh he’s YOUR first officer now, is he?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“McCoy, how is my lovely Gaila doing? She must have been reluctant to let such a fine prize go.”

“She was reluctant, all right, Captain. But I used my power of persuasion to convince her it was time for there to be a parting of the ways.”

“Bones, that parting of the ways, did that happen around the same time Gaila’s body was parted from her head?”

“You know Jim, I believe it did.” Both men pulled their now unbound hands from behind their backs and advanced on Pike.

“Kirk, don’t be a fool. Do this and your time in Starfleet is over.”

“Really Pike, we’re about to gut you and your only threat is that I’ll be thrown out of Starfleet?  Did that before you sent me to Orion, remember? You’re even more pathetic than I remembered.”

“I made you Kirk.”

“Yes _Captain_ , you did. You made me weak, a laughing-stock and a prized whore to be passed around to your friends. Once I was off this bucket of bolts, you made me strong, determined and focused on my goals.”

“Goals Kirk? Aside from getting your dick sucked, what goals do you have?”

“Oh I’ve already achieved them Pike. First was to take the Enterprise. As you can see, no one is coming to rescue you or to stop me. Secondly, I want your blood Pike.” Jim walked toward Pike with purpose in his steps. Pike, being the fucking coward he was began backing up. Once Jim had backed Pike into the wall, he leaned down to whisper. “Every last fucking drop of your blood Pike, is mine.” Jim stepped back and turned to Bones.

 Bones looked back, his eyes gleaming with what? Joy? Desire? A bit of both maybe? He knew Bones was ready for this and knew more certainly than he’d ever known anything before that with Leonard McCoy at his side, he could accomplish anything. Jim nodded briefly. Bones moved like lightning, pulling his dagger from his belt and throwing it at Pike, skewering Pike through the neck, yet not hitting a major artery. Bones really did have legendary hands.

Pike started choking on his own blood. His head was pinned to the wall. Thanks to the force of McCoy’s throw the dagger had not only gone through Pike but into the wall as well.

Kirk began slicing into Pike, carefully cutting the command gold shirt from his body. Making sure no strip of shirt was left un-bloodied. Pike screamed as his blood began to flow. “Uh, uh, Christopher, you spoke without being given permission. Guess that means we need to punish you, doesn’t it Bones?”

“Sure does Jim.” Bones stepped up to Kirk and removed his dagger from his belt. Not able to resist himself, he leaned in closer and bit the back of Jim’s neck, sliding his left hand up Jim’s stomach and coming to rest beneath the dip in Jim’s collarbone. He held the hilt of the dagger out to Jim.

“No Bones, we do this together.” Jim said.

McCoy turned the dagger around in the palm of his hand and wrapped his fingers around the hilt. Jim wrapped his hand around Bones’ hand and they cut together, hands moving as one.

Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems. ~~Christopher Pike~~ , ~~Montgomery Scott~~ , ~~Gaila~~.

 

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://www.authorama.com/grimms-fairy-tales-48.html>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Blue Light:  
> Soldier is wounded and dismissed from service.  
> Soldier meets a witch who tricks him and throws him in a well using The Blue Light.  
> Soldier meet dwarf who help him steal light and escape.  
> Soldier wants revenge on King, so he tricks King’s daughter.  
> Soldier gets revenge and the girl.
> 
> I have some ‘splanin to do here… The moral of this story, the original story, is that revenge works! Our hero in the fairy tale makes all of his dreams come true by following through with his plan for revenge. My mind instantly went to Mirrorverse when it came to figuring out how to write this piece. I have never written Mirror fic before and to be honest, wasn’t sure if I wanted to write this kind of McKirk. BUT, the reason I wanted to do these challenge prompts was to expand my writing and stick my toe on the line of things that were uncomfortable, such as this and death fic. I am a little unsure (insecure) as to whether I have captured the spirit of the Mirrorverse properly. Plus I never expected this story to grow as it did, but when Jim Kirk has a Bone(s) between his teeth, he’s a bit hard to put off. He spoke, I wrote. 
> 
> For those of you paying close attention, I used the agonizer from TOS to loosely represent The Blue Light. Jim doesn’t think he’s going to need to use that on Bones again…
> 
> Jim’s mantra “Punish all. Trust none. Revenge redeems” and his hit list are in homage to Arya Stark and A Game of Thrones. The title is based on a great internet meme where Bones is sitting on the iron throne! 
> 
> Please let me know if you would like to see more Mirrorverse fic, throw me a prompt and Jim and Bones will dance in your blood!


	7. Godfather Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's Fairy Tale is called Godfather Death. Unfortunately as the title implies MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 7: Godfather Death

**SITUATION WANTED**

Seeking well to do man to raise orphaned child.  
 Must be good with kids and know a trade.  
Serious applicants only.  
[dmccoy@yahoo.com](mailto:dmccoy@yahoo.com)

Doctor David McCoy was a busy man. He was due back in the operating room within one week, he simply did not have time to deal with a crying baby even if said crying baby was his only son. It had been a rough labor and as it wound down toward its inevitable conclusion the doctors warned David the chances were good he would lose them both. After Eleanor was gone and her squalling child was placed in his arms, David found himself wishing the doctors hadn’t fought so hard to save the baby. The want-ad had generated several promising candidates which he had now narrowed down to three.

His first appointment of the day was with Cupid. “What trade would you teach my son?”

Cupid smiled at this question. “Why, I would teach him how to make people fall in love.”

Fall in love? Please…                                                    

David’s second appointment of the day was with Lord Vaako. “What trade would you teach my son?”

Vaako looked amused, “I would train him to be a warrior, what else?”

Just what the world needs, another killer. No thanks. Even David had his standards.

David’s final appointment of the day was with Reaper. He had pretty much decided the baby was going home with this guy no matter what. “Let’s face it, you are death personified, what trade would you teach my son?”

Reaper considered the question carefully before answering. “As I am present when the fire of life is extinguished, I would instruct the child to be a doctor, so that my services are not required as often.”

David picked up the baby and handed it to Reaper. “He’s all yours, oh and he’s wet.”

Reaper named the hazel-eyed boy Leonard.

Several months later when David McCoy died in a tragic “accident” the last face he saw on earth was Reaper.

****  
True to his promise to the late but unlamented David McCoy, Reaper raised Leo to be a doctor and he graduated at the top of his class from medical school. However Reaper had an ace up his sleeve he’d not yet shared with his adopted son.

“What do you mean you’re Death?”

“Leo, sit down and just listen okay?”

“Okay, I’ll listen, then I’m gonna examine you for a concussion.”

“I’ve never hidden from you the fact that you are adopted. Your birth father was a doctor himself and though he wasn’t a candidate for Father of the Year, he was a dammed good doctor. I had my own selfish reasons for wanting you to be the best doctor you could be.”

“Because you’re ‘Death’ right? I’m a man of science dammit, not a believer in mysticism.”

Reaper sighed, he hadn’t imagined the conversation would be this difficult.  He offered his hand to Leo, “Come with me.”

Leo took his father’s hand and the moment he did, white light began to whirl around both of them. “Well, shit.” Leo muttered, just as the room winked out of existence.

****

Leo opened his eyes, when he heard the sound of someone gasping for breath. He found himself in a room he had never seen before with an older man lying in bed, struggling to breathe. He raced to the man and examined him the best he could with none of his equipment.  The man took one final, shaky breath and died. “Why didn’t you give me time to grab my bag? I could have helped this man, I could have saved him.”

“No Leo.” Reaper said from the foot of the man’s bed.

“NO? What in hell do you mean, no?”

“I know you are a man of science, you were to taught to believe in what you see, or in things you can lay your hands on and touch. Everyone has their own time Leo, their own time to die. When that time comes it’s my job to take their soul home. The reason I raised you to be a doctor is that I wanted you to help balance out the universe, to bring goodness and light, where I only bring darkness and silence. I have but one gift I can offer you. If I appear at a patient’s head, the patient will live. If I appear a patient’s foot, the patient will die.”

“You call that a gift? Some kind of sick and twisted pre-cognition or something?”

“It’s all I have to offer you.” Reaper reached out to Leo and then touched the dead man. White light began to swirl again.

****  
Life went on and years passed. Leo learned to somehow cope with the days that Death showed up at the foot of patients’ beds.  It was never easy losing anyone, but Leo now had the small comfort that there was nothing he could have done differently to alter the outcomes of those who had been called home. It was small comfort. It was enough. That all changed the day he met Jim Kirk.

George Kirk had been sick for some time. His youngest son Jim was not willing to let his father go without a fight. That was why they were ensconced in a tiny hospital room in the middle of Nowhere, Georgia.

It was love at first sight, as if Leo had been hit with one of Cupid’s mythical arrows. Jim had impossibly blue eyes and blonde hair that seemed to be spun from sunshine.  He was tall and well muscled and had an ass made for worship. It was all Leo could do to keep his hands off the younger man.

Leo was sitting in the elder Kirk’s hospital room listening to Jim run through a list of specialists they had seen over the last year and the treatments that had been prescribed to ease George’s suffering. Jim spoke with passion about his father and Leo could also see the start of tears in Jim’s blue eyes.  Leo longed to reach out and pull Jim into his arms, to offer his comfort and his love if only Jim would stop crying. It was then that Reaper appeared at the foot of George Kirk’s bed. He looked at Leo and mouthed one simple word: tomorrow.

“Walk with me Mr. Kirk?” Leo asked, motioning the younger man out into the hallway.

“Please call me Jim.”

“Jim, I promise I will do everything in my power to save your father’s life.” Leo no longer had a choice; he needed to find a way to cheat Death.

It took all night, but Leo figured out what needed to be done.  
****

When Jim walked into his father’s room the next morning he was greeted by quite a surprise. His father was sleeping peacefully in his bed, a bed which had been turned around so that George’s head lay where his feet normally rested.

Reaper was livid when he saw what Leo had done. “How dare you, Leo? How dare you cheat Death? Do you know what you have done?”

“I’ve saved the father of the man I love.” Leo said, defiantly.

“Oh, Leo, if only you had come to me first.” Reaper said sadly. “There is only rule, you cannot cheat death; a life for a life, Leo. You’ll have to come with me.”

“I don’t understand, you’re saying I must forfeit my life for saving George Kirk?”

“Yes, it’s the only way.”

“B-but I did not know the rule, you never told me! Father please, there must be something you can do?” Leo began to cry.

Reaper sighed. “I have never been able to deny you anything.  I will let this go, Leo, but you must promise never to do this again. Can you promise me you will never try to cheat Death again?”

“I promise.”  
****

Jim’s mouth hung open as Leo explained the miraculous turn around in George’s condition. “He’s going to make a full recovery? A full recovery?  I can never thank you enough for saving my father. Ask for anything Bones, if it’s in my power to grant it to you, I will.”

“Marry me, Jim.”

Jim responded by grabbing Leo’s face in his hands and kissing him until his tongue went numb.  
****

“You may now kiss your husband.”

Jim and Leo’s friends cheered the newlyweds as they leaned in and kissed each other. Jim stumbled and clutched at his chest, his blue eyes going wide in pain. “Bones?” He managed to gasp before he fell to the ground.

Leo knelt beside Jim, doing everything in his power to save his husband. He was frantic, as he began to perform CPR. He felt someone standing behind him and turned his head only to find Reaper standing at Jim’s feet.“NOOOO!” Leo screamed.

“A life for a life Leo.” Reaper whispered.

“This is the price for saving George Kirk, Reaper? THIS IS THE PRICE!?”

“Yes Leo, this is the price.”

“Over my dead body.” Leo grabbed Jim’s arm and swung him around so that Reaper’s feet were now next to Jim’s head. “You have to save him now, Reaper. I forfeit my life for his.”

Jim took a gasping breath and sat up wondering why he was on the ground. “Bones, what happened?”

“I love you Jim, never forget how very much I love you.” Leo reached out for Jim one last time as the white light began to swirl.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-godfatherdeath.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of Godfather Death:
> 
> Man wanted a Godfather to raise his 13th child.(Condoms, man, condoms…)  
> Man interviewed God, the Devil and Death as potential Godfathers.  
> Man chose Death as Death doesn’t play favorites, he comes for everyone sooner or later.  
> Death makes child a famous doctor. Death at foot of bed= death. Death at head of bed= life.  
> Doctor cheats Death to save the King. His life is now forfeit.  
> Death gives Doctor one more chance, admonishing him to never cheat Death again.  
> Doctor saves King’s daughter so they can marry each other.  
> Death comes for the Doctor. 
> 
>  
> 
> There’s a reason Disney never made this one into a movie. Fairy Tales are harsh; they are meant to teach the reader lessons about life and love and loss. I hate death fic and avoid it at all costs. If you had told me I would write something where I not only kill Jim, but Bones too, I never would have believed it. The only thing that softens the blow, aside from the crossover appearances of Reaper, Cupid (twice) and Vaako, is the fact that Bones KNEW what would happen when he saved Jim. He chose danger once again.
> 
> I also need to apologize to the David McCoy fans out there, but I did get the chance to save George Kirk. As Reaper would tell you, a life for a life.
> 
> Lastly, the idea of using the white, swirling light of the Enterprise’s transporter as a means of travel to the “other side” really captured my imagination.


	8. Rapunzel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Rapunzel. Jim is on a alien planet with a bushel of radishes (YUCK) what could possibly go wrong?

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 8: Rapunzel

“Is there anything else about this culture I need to be aware of Lieutenant Uhura?”

“Interestingly enough, Captain, the natives are very fond of radishes.”

“YUCK, really?”

“Yes, Captain. Would you like me to add a bushel of radishes to your list of stores to be beamed to the planet’s surface?”

“Thank you Lieutenant, send all we’ve got. That’s one less vegetable Bones can push on me.”

 

“In conclusion, I would like to thank Arden for being such a wonderful host to the crew of the Enterprise. I have one final gift I would like to present to you for your generosity. Sulu, would you please bring me the gift?”

“Aye, Captain.”

Sulu brought the bushel to Jim and Jim in turn presented it to Arden and his delegation.

“I hope you enjoy these radishes in good health.”

 

Jim woke the next morning to the sound of some animal in distress, great distress by the sound of it. He got out of bed thinking maybe he should put the poor thing out of its misery. Jim walked to the door of his little cabin and when he opened it was confronted by something that made him think he was still asleep and dreaming. There was a baby in a bushel basket on his doorstep.

“What do you MEAN she’s mine, Arden?” Jim was incensed. It seems he had not in fact been dreaming and the wailing that had woken him from sleep was coming from the baby, HIS baby.

“Captain Kirk, we made it clear to your Lieutenant Uhura that visitors who bring us radishes receive a child in return. Our planet has long been known as the go-to destination for couples who are having trouble having children of their own.”

Jim’s mind was blown. He had no words for this. He just stood there looking like a trout, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. Jim looked down at the little girl who was nestled, asleep in his arms. “Where did she come from?” He whispered.

“This planet has magical powers, Captain Kirk. It is the reason we have resisted meetings with your Federation for so long. We did not want an outside governing body to come here and steal our magic from us.”

Magic? This planet was a place of magic… Jim didn’t believe in magic. Magic was a thing for little children and gullible fools, not starship captains. His eyes once again fell on the bundle in his arms. Magic or no, this little girl was real, his.

“The child’s name is Inira, Captain. It means honor. May she bring you and your husband much joy.”

His husband…OH GOD! How was he going to tell Bones about Inira?

“Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Enterprise here Captain.”

“Two to beam up.”  From the frying pan and into the fire.

 

“Kirk to Medbay.”

“McCoy here, you back yet Jim?”

“Yeah, in our quarters. Bones you need to come home now.”

“Kinda busy Jim, some of us have responsibilities, ya know?”

Boy howdy, did Jim know. “This is pretty important Bones.” Just then Inira started to whine.

“Jim, call me crazy, but that sounds kinda like a baby cryin.”

“You’re crazy Bones and that is a baby crying. Can you grab some formula on your way back here?”

 

“Okay Jim, here I am, ya got me…Why can’t you be a normal and just wait for me to get off work, I mean what are ya thinkin…Jim?” Bones came through the door expecting Jim to be waiting naked on their bed or some variation on that theme. Bones admitted he had a pretty wild imagination, but that imagination could never have conjured up the scene before him. James Tiberius Kirk, standing at the window in their bedroom, pointing out constellations to an infant wrapped in a pink blanket.

“Oh hey Bones, did you bring the formula?”

“Formula?” Bones blinked a few times and shut his eyes. When he opened them again, Jim was walking toward him, pink bundle cradled in his arms.

“Yeah Bones, for the baby?”

“Jim?”

Jim leaned in and kissed Bones’ cheek. “I’d like to introduce you to Inira. She’s our daughter Bones.”

“Jesus Christ on water skis Jim, you better start explanin.” Bones whispered.

“Sure thing Bones, why don’t you hold her, she needs to bond with both of us.” Jim held the baby out to Bones who just stared at her with wonder in his eyes. Bones scooped her out of Jim’s arms and held her close to his chest.

Jim sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. Bones climbed up to sit next to him. Jim told him about Uhura and the radishes and the way Inira’s cries had woke him up that morning. Jim giggled at the look on Bones face when he told him about the planet’s magic and brushed away a tear when Jim told him that Inira’s name meant “honor.”

“Hi baby girl, I’m Leo and I’m gonna be your Daddy.” Bones started crying. There had been a hole in his heart since the divorce, since Joanna had been taken away from him. He wanted, no needed another chance at fatherhood and Jim was handing him that chance. Jim had given him his greatest wish. What did you say to that? How did you say “thank you” to someone who made your every dream, every wish a reality?

“Love you so much Jimmy. I-I don’t know what to say. Words can’t express what I feel-”

“I love you too Bones, she’s one lucky little girl to have you as her father.”

Bones was crying too hard to answer. He just nodded and kissed Inira’s head.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-rapunzel.htm>

Corrie71’s amazing baby fic: <http://archiveofourown.org/works/1168019/chapters/2375883>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of Rapunzel:
> 
> Wife wanted a baby but would settle for a radish-like vegetable.  
> Wife sent husband to get vegetable from neighbors garden.  
> Garden belonged to Enchantress who would give husband veg in exchange for their unborn child.  
> Husband agreed.  
> I’ll stop here…you know the rest, princess locked in a tower, Rapunzel let down your hair…
> 
> I was expecting this to be a funny fic. Bones and Jim changing diapers, Bones thinking that Jim had been cheating on him on the Magic Planet, but once I got that baby into Bones’ arms, I started to cry. I’m still crying as I type this. I wanted this to be funny, but it was love. We all write about Bones and Joanna so much, cute little fics where they play at the beach or cuddle watching a movie. Today I really stopped to think what it must have been like for him when he lost her. The amount of heartbreak must have been immeasurable. I don’t know how he survived that, I know I couldn’t have survived it. Therefore, I stand by my earlier statement in another fic that Leonard Horatio McCoy is the strongest person I know. 
> 
> I read a fic last week by the BRILLIANT corrie71, that includes Bones with a baby. I cannot get that image out of my mind and that was the inception moment of this piece. I have included a link to this fic above. Please check this out if you are interested in baby fic, this one is a MASTERPIECE! 
> 
> I also included a little tip of the cap to my grandmother. When Jim tells Arden to "enjoy the radishes in good health" he is using my grandmother's famous line. Whenever someone would buy something big, like a car or a boat, she would tell them to "Enjoy it in good health." I have taken it upon myself to be the torch bearer of this particular phrase and Jim wanted in on it! 
> 
> Lastly, when Uhura tells Jim about the radishes and he responds with "YUCK, really?" I laughed over this for half an hour. I could "hear" Jim say that in my head with the same look on his face as when Spock told him the admiral's daughter could help with the torpedoes, (What admiral's daughter?). I mean really, who among us LIKES radishes? 
> 
> PS. This is not the last baby fic you are going to see! If anyone has any ideas on how to get another baby into Bones' arms, I am ALL ears!


	9. Cinderella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim watches Cinderella for the first time!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 9: Cinderella

“But, Daddy.”

“No ‘but Daddys’ today Jo-Jo, I have to get some work done in my office and Uncle Jim is gonna watch a movie with you, okay?”

“Uncle Jim is boooooooring.” Bones snorted, he’d heard Jim Kirk called a lot of things in his time, boring was not one of them.

“You pick the movie Jo, it’ll be lots of fun, I promise.” Jim puckered his lips like a fish and Joanna giggled.

“You two will be fine Jim, I think. Anyway, I’ll just be down the hall. Yell if you need me.” Bones ran his fingers down Jim’s face, trying to soothe the worry away.

“I’ve never done this before Bones, what if I wreck her for life or something.”

“Jim, there’s no one I trust more than you. Have fun together and trust _me_ when I say it’s time for you two to get to know each other.” Jim nodded at Bones and crossed his fingers behind his back.

 

“Okay Jo, what movie are we gonna watch?”

“Cinderella.”

“What’s that?”

“God, Uncle Jim, she’s a princess.”

“Do we have the right clothes to wear, I mean I can’t meet a princess for the first time dressed like this.”

“Oh, I know just the thing!” Joanna raced off into her toy room and raced back. “Here, have a tiara.” Joanna smashed a crown on Jim’s head. “And a feather boa.” She wrapped a blue feather boa around his throat.

“How do I look?” He looked like a bad drag queen.

“Awesome, Uncle Jim.”

 

“Why does Cinderella sleep in the tower?”

“Cause her step-mother is wicked, duh .”

 

 “Boy that’s one mean cat.”

“That’s why he’s called Lucifer, like the devil.”

 

“The fat mouse is my favorite.”

“Uncle Jim, he’s not fat, he’s big boned.”

“Well he should cut back on the chicken feed.”

“You sound like Daddy, Uncle Jim.”

 

“Wow those step-sisters sing as badly as your Daddy!”

“No one sings as bad as MY Daddy, Uncle Jim.”

 

“I want a Fairy Godmother!”

“But you already got your Prince, Uncle Jim.”

“You’re right I did!”

 

“Why couldn’t I dress like the Prince?”

“The feather boa matched your eyes Uncle Jim.”

 

“Wait! She lost her shoe! Go back for the shoe, Cindy, go back!”

“She s’possed to lose her shoe Uncle Jim, it’s how the Prince finds her again.”

“HEY, spoiler alert, sheeeeesh!”

 

“You know what Cindy needs, Jo?”

“The key to her locked bedroom door?”

“Nope she needs a phaser and a transporter.”

 

“THE SHOE FITS, YAAAAAAAAY”

“That’s her happily ever after Uncle Jim.”

 

Bones didn’t have any work to do, instead he was sitting at his desk watching Joanna’s baby monitor. He could see his little girl giggle with the man he loved, as Bones palmed a platinum wedding band in his fist. Today was the day he and Jim would start living their own fairy tale, feather boas and tiaras optional.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-cinderella.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopis of Cinderella:
> 
> Cinderella loses her mother and father remarries. (horndog)  
> Wicked Step-mother and two step-sisters move in and make Cinderella their slave.  
> Everyone is invited to the ball and Fairy Godmother appears to save the day.  
> Cinderella meets and falls in love with the Prince, loses her shoe…you know the rest!
> 
> I have been completely infatuated of late with Jim and Joanna fic, so that is how this story ended up here. We all know that Jim Kirk is a genius, but what I absolutely love about him is his enthusiasm to learn new things. You know Jim would have watched this movie with child-like enthusiasm and a feather boa!
> 
> We all have our headcanons about the way Jim grew up. I like to think he's going to live his own childhood, his way, through Joanna, experiencing things with child-like glee. It's like they are growing up together. And yeah, this thought makes me sad as hell and giggly like a school girl all at the same time!


	10. The Riddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> USS ENTERPRISE 1ST ANNUAL WORST RIDDLE IN THE GALAXY CONTEST

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 10: The Riddle

 **USS ENTERPRISE 1** ST ANNUAL WORST RIDDLE IN THE GALAXY CONTEST  
WEDNESDAY 2100 HOURS, OBSERVATION LOUNGE  
WIN PRIZES!! STUMP YOUR FRIENDS! PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR FUNNY BONE TICKLED!

“Vakka, Vakka, Vakka! Velcome to ze furst annual Vorst Riddle in ze Galaxy contest. I am your host, Pavel Chekov.  I vill start us off tonight with an oldie but goody inwented by school children in Moscow. What is ze difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?”

“….Anyone? Okay ze answer is, nothing, they are both fictional characters.” Dead silence but for Sulu who is shifting around in his seat.  

Sulu alvays says I am his unicorn, zis is cute, no?” Sulu turned eight shades of red and tried to hide behind Jim.

“I zought it was cute…Erm, please Velcome to the stage the Wulcan who ain’t sulkin, Mr. Spooooock!”

Spock stepped up to the mike. “I wish you tidings of the day.”

“Ass sphincter says what?” Jim Kirk coughed.

“What?” Spock asked. The entire room broke into laughter.

“Why did the Gallus gallus domesticus move to New Vulcan?”

Crickets… Even Uhura hid her head in her hands.

“It was only logical, Vulcans are vegetarians.”

More crickets. Thankfully Jim stood and offered a round of applause. Golf claps all around.

“Sank you Mr. Spock. Now please velcome to ze stage, Doctor Boy-Toy McCoy.” Loud cat calls boomed around the room. Bones looked murderous.

“Gonna use your guts for garters, kid… Yeah, so I’m here under ‘Captain’s Orders,’ so you’re gonna laugh, got it?” The crowd looked nervously back and forth at each other.  “Yeah well, here goes… The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?

“That big black dildo you don’t think I know you have?” Jim yelled from the crowd.

“That’s IT.” Bones yelled stepping down from the stage. “Here under fuckin duress as it is. I’m a god-dammed doctor not a court jester. Fuck you all very much.” Bones stormed toward the door.

“Hold it right there, Lieutenant Commander.” Jim ordered.

Fuck me in church. “Yes, Captain.”

“The answer Bones, what’s the answer to your riddle?”

“Somethin your gonna need real soon _Captain_ , if ya keep mouthin’ off at me… a coffin.” Bones left the room muttering under his breath.

“Zat was wery, amusing. Up next is…”

**RED ALERT, WE ARE UNDER ALERT CONDITIONS, MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS.**

Jim stood dumbfounded as the rest of the room broke into cheers! Guess the Romulans win the USS ENTERPRISE 1ST ANNUAL WORST RIDDLE IN THE GALAXY CONTEST, though fuck knows what they’ll do with an extra week of shore leave…

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-riddle.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Riddle:
> 
> King’s son travels with servant  
> They come to a witch’s house and are warned to stay away and not eat what she offers.  
> Our heroes escape to a land where a Princess likes to hear riddles.  
> Princess will marry the person who tells her a riddle she cannot solve.  
> Son tries to win her, but she tricks him, he gets the girl anyway…cheaters never prosper, yada, yada…
> 
> I’m not going to lie to you, I HATED this fairy tale with a passion I usually reserve for canned Italian food. So I decided to make riddles the source of amusement for everyone on board the Enterprise with the exception of Bones and let’s face it, you all saw that coming from miles away! 
> 
> For all of you out there whose Latin is a bit rusty, like mine (LOL), a Gallus gallus domesticus is a chicken!
> 
> Who do YOU think was "winning" the competition before the red alert sounded? I'm kind of thinking it's Bones, because let's face it, do you want to piss off the guy doing your annual rectal exam?


	11. Puss in Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puss in Boots...A little pussy is good for Jim's soul!
> 
> "I can't believe you wrote that darlin!"
> 
> "Boooones....she said pussy!"

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 11: Puss in Boots

The cat was shivering and half-starved. Say what you may about Leonard McCoy, but he was NOT a cold-hearted bastard, well not most of the time anyway. Regulations about domesticated animals be dammed, he scooped up the bedraggled cat. “McCoy to Enterprise, one to errmm, two to beam up.”

 

“No way Bones.”

“C’mon Jim, it’s cold and hungry.”

“So feed it and beam it back. You know the regs, Bones, no cats.”

“You mean to tell me that my big, strong, handsome, captain of a star ship, husband can’t handle one little pussy?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere Bones, the answer is no.” Jim swept out of their quarters. Bones heard him yell, “No.” again half way down the corridor.

 

“Kirk to-ACHOO-Medbay.”

“McCoy here.”

“You need to-ACHOO- come home now.”

“Hip deep in intestines Jim, whattaya need?”

“It’s your damn pussy Bones, can’t –ACHOO-stop sneezing.”

“Don’t be such an infant, come down here and get a hypo.”

“Kirk –ACHOO- out”

 

An hour later, Bones was relaxing in his office, glass of bourbon in hand when he was startled to hear screeching in the medbay. “What in blue fuck?” It sounded like someone was dying. Bones ran out of his office and into the eye of a hurricane. Medical supplies were everywhere, gauze littered the floor and a few of his staff were standing on biobeds. In the middle of the chaos was a tiny black cat, Jim’s tiny black cat to be precise. “Chris, what in the name of hell is going on?”

“Your husband, the animal lover, was here to get his allergy shot.” Christine started to laugh and began fanning her face with her hand. “The cat must have followed Jim out of your quarters, because he jumped a country mile when it mewed from behind him once he was in the medbay.” She had to stop again, laughing too hard to be understood. “It was the sweetest thing Leo, the cat sat there, staring up at Jim and mewed at him like they were having a conversation, then Geoff came in to give Jim the hypo.” The giggles once again halted the progress of the story. “And then, then that sweet little furball turned into something from the depths of hell. When Geoff gave Jim the hypo, it let out this hellish scream and flew straight at Geoff’s legs. Geoff crashed to the floor and Jim hightailed it out. Nurses started hopping up on beds to get away from the ruckus. Killer over there,” Chris motioned to the cat, “has been sitting at the door of the medbay howling for her lost love since Jim left.”  

“Is Geoff alright?”

Christine started to laugh again, “He’ll be good as new after he changes his underwear!”

Bones started to laugh as he leaned down to scoop the cat up into his arms. “C’mon darlin, let’s go see your Daddy.”

 

“I said no Bones and I meant no, no cats.”

“How’re your allergies, darlin?”

“Oh, so you’re back to worrying about me again, huh?”

“Jim, someone has to take care of our baby if you won’t.” The “baby” in question was cuddled up in Bones arms, staring at Jim with mournful eyes. At least she had stopped screeching.

Jim’s eyes were mutinous. “Our baby Bones? That, that thing, is not our baby.”

The cat started wailing again. “It’s okay Shadow.” Bones murmured into her fur. “Daddy loves you.”

“Shadow, Bones?”

“She’s your shadow Jim, name seems to fit. Just come here Jim.” Bones patted the cushion next to him. “Come here and let her love you.”

Jim walked over to the couch and sat, Shadow lunged for Jim and almost slipped out of Bones’ arms. “Now that’s not so bad is it Jim?”

Jim was sulking. James Tiberius Kirk was a helluva ship’s captain, brave and strong, smart, but at the end of the day he was just a giant toddler locked in an adult’s body. “C’mon Jim reach out a hand toward her, she won’t bite.”

“Hell if she won’t, she scared poor M’Benga so bad he pissed himself in the medbay.”

Bones started to giggle which caused him to lose his grip on the little cat, who took advantage and crawled into Jim’s lap and decided now was a great time for a bath. This made Bones laugh even harder.

 

“C’mon Jimmy, it’s good practice.” Bones said later when they were tangled in bed.

“Good practice for what Bones?”

“A baby of our own, Jim.”

“What do you say Shadow, you ready for a little brother or sister?

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://fairytales4u.com/story/boots.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of Puss In Boots:
> 
> Jack gets Puss in a will, hey someone else got an ass… Shut up Jim!  
> Puss has to prove its worth to Jack.  
> Puss brings gifts to the King.  
> Jack meet and marries the King’s daughter  
> Puss lives on Easy Street as a reward.
> 
>  
> 
> I read an Almost Human (John Kennex and Dorian)fic a while back. Yes, you can see a pattern developing. It’s a Karl Urban thing, what can I say! Anywho, in this fic, John and Dorian go to question a witness who lives in a house filled with cats. John is notoriously not good with kids or cats and the largest cat of them all falls head over paws in LOVE with John Kennex. There is one scene when he and Dorian are leaving and John can hear the cat screaming for him from the front window of the house and I swear I laughed for an hour over that one. For the life of me and I apologize from the bottom of my heart, I cannot remember who wrote this fic. I knew when I wrote a cat fic, I needed a cat who would think Jim Kirk was its moon and stars, even though Jim isn’t the cat’s biggest fan! 
> 
> Bones line to Jim, “Come here and let her love you” was inspired by one of my favorite Tumblr gifs. It’s that scene from the first movie when Bones is chasing Jim onto the bridge, while the enterprising (LOL) gif-maker flashes the words “Let Me Love You.” That gif cracks me up every time I see it!
> 
> I will also say that I believe Michael Ealy, the gorgeous actor who plays Dorian on Almost Human should be Doctor M’Benga in the next Star Trek movie, so when I write him, it’s Michael I see…You’re welcome!
> 
> Lastly my use of the word "pussy" is in homage to Mrs. Slocumbe on Are You Being Served? She was famous for her rainbow colored hair and of course for stories about her pussy!


	12. Peter Piper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say it Jim, say my name!
> 
> "Pretty, perfect, professional Princess penning pornographic prose!"

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 12: Peter Piper

“Good morning Captain, how are you today?” Spock asked in the turbolift on the way to the bridge.

“Pleasingly pleasant.” Kirk responded and bounced onto the bridge.

 

“McCoy to bridge.”

“Proceed.”

“Captain, you’re due for y’annual physical at 1300, don’t make me drag your ass down here, Jim.”

“Precisely present, pretty, prodding, Princess.”

“Gonna get an extra hypo for callin me Princess, Jimbo.”

 

“Captain, can I bring you anything back from the Mess?”

“Perfectly prepared pastries, please.” Sulu stared at Kirk with his mouth hanging open, oookay.

 

“Keptin, ze Enterprise has von ze Best Canoli in Space award.”

“Please publicize patisserie praise, passenger.”

 

“Engineering to bridge.”

“Partner!”

“Jim, when d’ya want me to start work on the core?”

“Please prime parts, pronto.”

“My pleasure, Scott out.”

 

Jim walked into Bones’ office at precisely 1300. “Present.”

“Heard a disturbing rumor Jim, seems you’ve been answering crew questions all day using only words that start with the letter, “P” you feeling okay, Jim?”

“Picture perfect, practitioner.”

“Dammit Jim, y’can’t go round answering every damn question with only words that start with the letter, ‘P.’ People’ll think your off your gourd.”

“Point presented, pal.”

Two can play at this game, Bones smirked and palmed his cock through his scrub pants. “Please pleasantly practice penis pleasure presently.”

“Proper preparation prevents poor performance, people! Positively possesses prick prowess.” Kirk winked at Bones sunk to his knees.

“Perfectly peaceful,” Bones sighed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling that the prompt maker meant to use The Pied Piper for this prompt…
> 
> That being said, here is the Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme:
> 
> Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;  
> A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked;  
> If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,  
> Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
> 
> I wondered and wondered HOW to do this and somehow came up with the idea that Jim was going to spend an entire day only speaking words that started with the letter P. I need to thank the folks at thesaurus.com! LOL
> 
> I purposely left Uhura out of this piece because she would have punched Jim’s throat out if he tried this bullshit on her!


	13. The Juniper Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Juniper Tree... This one is going to hurt.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 13: The Juniper Tree

“Bones, do you remember the time Sulu turned purple after he touched those ferns on Clovis II?”

“Bones, remember when you dropped the ring at Spock’s wedding and it took an hour to find it?”

“Bones, remember that time we ran out of lube and had to use peanut butter?”

“Bones, remember when Joanna asked the band to play your song twice so she could dance with her Daddy twice as long on her wedding day?”

“Bones, remember the time I bit David’s finger when we were playing, ‘where’s my mouth’?”

“Bones, remember how hard it rained on the day Katie was born?”

“Bones, remember the day we became grandfathers and we got sick smoking those cheap cigars Chekov brought?”

“Bones, remember the time we had too much Saurian brandy and we decided to finger paint the walls on the observation deck?”

“Bones do you remember that time you kissed me so hard you chipped a tooth?”

“Bones, remember that time Spock had too much chocolate and kissed you?”

“Bones, remember how hard we cried on David’s first day of kindergarten?”

“Bones, remember the time Katie’s cat got stuck in the tree and you had to sing bad opera until it gave up and came back down?

“Bones, remember when you wore leather pants and stripped for me on my 40th birthday?”

“Bones remember when I hid your shotgun the night that Katie had her first date?”

“Bones remember that time we made love in the backyard and got caught by the neighbors kids?”

“Bones remember when we had sex in the Captain’s chair on the Enterprise?”

“Bones remember when we planted this Juniper tree together on the day Patrick was born?”

“Bones, I remember the day you asked me to lay you to rest here. You were at peace, knowing you’d be able to watch over your family. Here we are we’re all here for you today. Welcome home Bones, I’ll be along soon.”

Jim pushed himself up from the wet ground, leaned forward to kiss the cold headstone and walked back toward the home he and Bones had spent a lifetime building together.

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-jupiter.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a horrible, horrible fairy tale, so bad in fact that I’m only going to say it had to do with killing a child and cannibalism. The one line of the story that brought me to writing this was, “she brought the bones to the juniper tree” and there you have it.
> 
> Funnily enough, I actually bit my oldest niece’s finger during a game of, “where’s my mouth.” I think I cried harder than she did!! 
> 
> You all owe Karl Urban a debt of gratitude for this one. I was going to make Bones much younger when he passed, then I saw a video from Karl Urban’s panel discussion at Destination Star Trek in Germany. Gates McFadden surprised Karl at the panel and asked him if he remembered when Doctor McCoy met Doctor Crusher on board the Enterprise (D). It was during the pilot episode of Next Generation called Encounter at Farpoint. Admiral McCoy was 137 years old at the time and he famously told Data that if you treat her (The Enterprise) like a lady, she’ll always bring you home. I love that mental pic of Bones and that’s what I decided to go with when I wrote this.  
> I hate death fic, we’ve discussed that before, I literally wrote this in an hour with Bones telling me how to do it. So my hat is off to him once again. 
> 
> “You’re welcome darlin.”


	14. The Hare's Bride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of The Hare's Bride. Jim and Bones are visited by Joanna and her long eared pal.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 14: The Hare’s Bride

Jim and Bones stood in the transporter room waiting for Joanna to arrive. It had been six months since they had seen their daughter and she would be a passenger on board the Enterprise for a week while the crew conducted stellar research.

White lights swirled and standing on the transporter pad was six-year old Joanna McCoy. “Daddies!!!” She cried and flung her little self at Jim and Bones. “It’s so good to see you baby girl.” Bones whispered into her hair.

“I missed you Daddy and I brought a friend.”

“A friend? Imaginary or stuffed Jo-Jo?” Jim asked as he got his hug.

“I brought my rabbit, named Bunny Sue.” She skipped to the transporter pad picking up a small cage that had materialized behind her suitcase.

Bones and Jim stared at each other. “Pets aren’t allowed on the Enterprise, Bones.” Jim said, though his teeth, smile plastered on his face.

“It’s only for a week Jim, how much trouble could it be?”

 

“Transporter Room to Captain Kirk.”

“Kirk here.”

“Captain could you spare a wee moment ta come down here?”

“Something wrong, Mr. Scott.”

“It’s better ta see it in person, Jim.”

“I’ll be right there, Kirk out.”

 

Moments later Jim stood in the transporter room or what used to be the transporter room. At the moment it very much looked like the maternity ward of a rabbit hospital. There were bunnies everywhere. The white light of the transporter swirled again and more rabbits appeared on the pad.

“What the fuck, Scotty?” Jim was dumbfounded.

“It started after wee Joanna arrived, Jim. Every twenty minutes or so the transporter activates and PRESTO! More rabbits.”

“How many are there now, Scotty.”

“One hundred and ten, nope make tha’ One hundred and fifteen. The rabbits are multiplyin, well, like rabbits.”

“Fix it Scotty, fix this as soon as you can.”

“Aye, Jim, look on the bright side, with all the lettuce these wee beasties eat, there won’t be any lettuce left for Leo ta push on you.”

The white lights of the transporter whirled again.

 

“What do you mean the transporter is replicatin’ rabbits, Jim?”

Jim rested his head in his hands. “Get Joanna, I’ll show you.”

 

“WHOOOOOPIE, BUNNIES!” Joanna announced as she ran into the transporter room ahead of Jim and Bones. She carefully waded her way through the throng of rabbits to sit in the middle of the transporter pad. 

“Jesus Christ in gym shorts, how do we fix this? What happens to the rabbits _when_ we fix this? Jim?”

“Scotty says it’s some kind of transporter malfunction.  He’s doing his best to find the problem. I have no idea what to do when this is over, Bones. There isn’t exactly anything listed in the Starfleet Code of Conduct outlining a procedure for…this.” Just as Jim spoke, white lights swirled and added more long eared guests to the party.

Jim reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out his PADD. He held it up and called out to Joanna. “Say ‘carrots’ honey.”

“CARROTS!” Joanna beamed as Jim started taking pictures.

“Guess there’s a reason Starfleet doesn’t allow pets on starships, Jim.” Bones grinned as he and Jim danced their way to the pad and their daughter.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-haresbride.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Hare’s Bride”
> 
> Woman and daughter live in cottage and grow cabbage.  
> Hare eats the cabbages and mother asks daughter to scare hare away.  
> Daughter can’t get rid of hare.  
> Hare steals daughter to make her his bride. (Wait, what?)  
> Girl escapes.
> 
> I have to admit this Fairy Tale is THE strangest thing I have read in a long time…keep in mind I read a lot of fanfic. Anywho, I am still loving Jim and Joanna fic, so here’s another one. 
> 
> Jim playing the role of shutterbug is based on all of those pics of Chris Pine with a camera in his hands.


	15. Beauty and the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Beauty and the Beast!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 15: Beauty and the Beast

The first time it happened Hikaru Sulu wrote it off as a fluke. The second time it happened he was fucking pissed off.

“Captain, my prized blue rose blooms keep going missing.”

“Blue roses, huh? Why would anyone steal a blue rose?”

“Roses are romantic, Captain.”

“So they are Sulu, so they are. You be sure to let me know if it happens again.”

The rose thefts stop after his conversation with the Captain and life went back to normal for Hikaru. He split his time between the bridge, his plants and his Pavel.  He had been working on a new species of golden roses. If anyone deserved a rose bred just for him, it was his sweet Pavel. He had been working on this rose since the night of their first kiss when Hikaru knew he’d been hit with Cupid’s arrow. The plant had produced its first two buds and he knew they would open today. Sulu hurried out of bed and into the botany bay to check on them.  Sulu thought his brain was going to explode when he got to the bush and discovered the rose buds were gone.

“Captain, my roses have gone missing again. This time they are golden roses I bred for P- for someone.”

“You bred golden roses? Cool.”

“Captain, please do something about this. I can’t have people stealing my roses.”

“Mr. Chekov, start a ship wide broadcast. “

“Broadcast commenced, Keptin.”

“Good morning, this is Captain Kirk. It has come to my attention that a member of my crew has stolen two of Mr. Sulu’s highly prized are rare golden roses. They are the MOST beautiful gift I have ever received and I know you stole them to reciprocate for the amazing blue roses I stole for you. Unfortunately for you, BONES, theft cannot be tolerated aboard a Federation Starship. Stay where you are Doctor McCoy, I have a heavily armed tactical team on its way to your location and they will be placing you under arrest. Enjoy your time in the brig.”

Sulu stared open-mouthed at his captain. “Jim, that’s a little harsh, don’t you think?

“Any last words Bones?”

“Dammit Jim, I regret that I have but one life to give for my captain.”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/beauty.html>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we are all familiar with Beauty and the Beast… My favorite part about the Disney version of this tale, aside from the fact that Belle is an intelligent woman with a mind that she USES instead of looking for a man, is the enchanted rose. That is how this story ended up revolving around roses. It was also a good opportunity to write from Sulu’s perspective and throw a little Sulu/Chekov bone(s) LOL your way. The idea that both Jim and Bones were sneaking into the botany bay to steal roses that match the other’s tunic is just precious! Even Bones, as grumpy as he can be is a sucker for roses!


	16. Hansel and Gretel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Hansel and Gretel.
> 
> It's Bones' birthday and he asks Jim NOT to make a big deal of it. Bones is pretty damn disappointed when Jim does as asked.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 16: Hansel and Gretel  

It was Bones’ birthday. He had asked Jim not to make a big deal for his “special” day and in a disappointingly surprising turn of events, Jim had heard and obeyed him. “Well fuck me upside down, I didn’t think Jim would listen to me, Jim never listens to me.” Bones mumbled to himself as he keyed in the code to his office door.  As he was setting his coffee down, he noticed a small card on his desk. Bones opened it up and saw a message hand written in block print:

**_Do you know the muffin man?_ **

“What in hell?” To tell the truth Bones was a muffin man himself. It was known far and wide throughout the galaxy the way to Doctor Leonard McCoy’s heart was with a muffin, preferably chocolate chip, but hell a bran muffin would do in a pinch. Bones set off for the Officer’s Mess.

“Good Morning Doctor, hear about the muffins did you?” Mary, head of the Mess asked him.

“Sure did Mary, you got chocolate chip?”

“Right here, Doc, and got a little note for you too.”

Bones sat at a nearby table and took an enormous bit of his muffin. It was pure heaven. This alone was the perfect birthday present even if no one knew it was his birthday. As he munched, he opened the small card and saw another message in the same block print:

**_London BRIDGE is falling down._ **

“What is hell is Jim up to now?” Bones headed for the bridge of the Enterprise.

“SURPRISE!! Happy Birthday!” The crew called out when Leo stepped onto the bridge.

“Thanks, everyone.” Bones looked around and Jim was nowhere to be found. “Where’s the Captain?”

“I do not know the location of Captain Kirk, Doctor, however, I wish you felicitations of the day.” Spock handed Bones another card. The same block print read:

**_Now I lay me down to sleep._ **

Bones headed for the quarters he and Jim shared. “Jim?” Bones called out as he swept through the door.

“Followed my little trail of breadcrumbs, did you?” Jim was laying on their bed, naked but for the big red bow tied around his neck.

“Jim…” Bones could only stare at Jim, his mouth hanging open.

“Happy Birthday, old man. You gonna come unwrap your present?”

Read the original Fairy Tale here:  <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-hansel.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know the story of Hansel and Gretel and their infamous trail of breadcrumbs. This is birthday fluff, pure and simple. I love that Bones asked Jim not to make a big deal of his birthday and then was disappointed when Jim seemingly obeyed him. Bones is a study in contrast. I often wonder what exactly happened to him to make himself self-conscious? He is the undisputed king of self-deprecation. We all have these headcanons that Jim thinks he isn’t good enough or even simply enough for Bones. But I think Bones feels the same way right back about Jim. I hate that for him.


	17. The Singing Bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of The Singing Bone. Bones really should know better than to join in poker night on the Enterprise, but where would be the fun in that?

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 17: The Singing Bone

What in the name of all that was holy had he been thinking? Poker Night on the Enterprise was a hotly contested game. The usual suspects consisted of Jim, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and last and certainly at the bottom of the leader board, Bones. He was stymied as to how he was so bad at this game. He was a doctor, dammit and a fine chess player if you asked him, why was poker so beyond his grasp?

“Just lend me enough to cover Jim, I’ll give you an IOU, you know I’m good for it.”

“Sure thing Bones.” Jim threw over a couple of chips. It didn’t help, Bones lost the game anyway and Jim walked away with his IOU.

Jim Kirk was fucking brilliant, everyone said so, much to the eternal annoyance of Bones who was at the moment ready to kill his Captain. “You gotta be fuckin kidding me _Captain?_ ”

“The problem, _Doctor McCoy_ , is in the details. Your IOU clearly does not list what it is you owe the holder of this document.” Jim smiled, proudly.

“Jim, this is…no, just no, not gonna do this Jim.”

“Bones, you owe me. Just be thankful, I’m not making you do this alone?”

“Boy, you’re a real comfort, but really Jim, The Captain and Tennile?”

“Obviously I am the Captain, so you get to be Tennile…Simple math Bones.”

“I’m gonna gut you in your sleep Jim.”

“Don’t be such an infant Bones, it’s only the two of us. Go on, you start.”

 ** _“_** **** _Love, love will keep us together_  
Think of me, babe, whenever  
Some sweet talkin' boy comes along  
Singin' his song, don't mess around  
You just got to be strong”

“Jimmmmm, you promised.”

“Okay, fine. Sing it with me Bonesy.”

 **** _“Just stop, 'cause I really love you_  
Stop, I'll be thinking of you  
Look in my heart  
And let love keep us together”

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-singing.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say I am not a big fan of this fairy tale which has Cain and Abel bent to it. One brother kills the other and no one knows what happened until the bone of the dead brother is found and when you blow into it, it sings a song of its murderer. I wasn’t going there, not for a second. 
> 
> The only redeeming this about this story is the following line, “Ah, friend, thou blowest upon my bone!” My sick and twisted hormone crazed mind laughed for half an hour and then I texted this to my fellow McKirkers! OH if there were only a place and time for Captain James Tiberius Kirk to speak that immortal line!!  
> Don’t ask where The Captain and Tennile came from, Jim’s not sure either, but the group had “Captain” in the title.


	18. The Little Mermaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of The Little Mermaid. Joanna is growing up!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 18: The Little Mermaid

The rule about dating was carved in stone. Now if Joanna Kirk-McCoy knew one thing about her fathers, it was how to manipulate them, did she say manipulate? Of course she meant convince, yeah convince them that her way was the right way. Both men had remained steadfast that she was not allowed to date until she was fifteen. There had been many tear filled nights spent screaming at both men that they had ruined her life and that everyone thought she was a loser for having such OVER protective parents.

If only Joanna knew how close each of her fathers had come to relenting on this rule. But that was all water under the bridge now that Joanna’s fifteenth birthday had finally come and gone. Truth be told it was Bones and Jim who held the biggest celebration over this milestone birthday.

They were sitting in the den. Bones was “reading” a scientific journal. Well to be more precise, he was reading the same line of the journal for the thousandth time, but who was counting? Jim was reading his worn out copy of Treasure Island. Both men stood when they heard the sound of Jo’s footsteps on the stairs.

 “Well, how do I look?”

Both men stared at their daughter, then turned to stare open mouthed at each other. Joanna was wearing a knee length light blue dress with spaghetti straps and matching shoes.

“You look like a princess.” Jim was beaming.

“A course she looks like a princess, Jim, she’s always been our little princess.”

“I’m not so little anymore, Dad.”

“Tell me the rules for the night Jo.” Bones asked.

“Daaaaad.” Joanna raised a familiar looking eyebrow at her father, sighed and said, “Curfew is midnight, don’t drink but if I do, call home for a ride and don’t ride in a car with someone who has been drinking.”

“Jo, you forgot the last one.” Bones prodded.

“Have the BEST time ever!” She giggled.

Just then the doorbell rang and Jo moved to answer it. “I’ll get it.” Jim announced, using his annoying Captain’s voice.  A moment later, he escorted a terrified looking young man into the den.

“Mister, eerrm, Doctor McCoy, my name is Will Davies.”

Bones held out his hand, “It’s nice to meet you Will. Curfew is midnight, young man.”

“Y-yes, Sir, she’s in good hands- I-I mean…”

Jim thought Will was going to spontaneously combust. Instead of laughing, he asked, “Where are you two kids off to?”

“The Under The Sea Ball, in the gym, Dad.” She leaned in and kissed Jim and then did the same for Bones. “Goodnight, Dads.”

“Night, Jo, have fun.” They called back.

“The Under The Sea Ball? Why do I feel like I’m the one who’s been shipwrecked, Jim?”

“I was just thinking the same thing, old man. How are we gonna make it to midnight?”

“C’mere darlin, I got an idea or two.”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/hcanderson/bl-hcanderson-mermaid.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I was about 17 years old when The Little Mermaid was released by Disney and that scene in the beginning when Ariel says she’s 16 and not a child always made wish I could have talked to my father that way. I was one of those “loser” girls with the overprotective parents. I couldn’t date until I was sixteen and I remember thinking all the good boys would be taken by the time my damn birthday rolled around! Silly right? Not when your 15 years old…
> 
> I love the easy relationship Joanna has with her dads. I’ve never come out and said it, but I think my headcanon for Jo is that she chooses to live with Jim and Bones once they are off the Enterprise. I like to think this was something Jim suggested, bringing the two McCoys to tears. Hence the reason Joanna added Jim’s name to her own.


	19. The Golden Goose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of the Golden Goose. Jim and Bones are "stuck" on each other!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 19: The Golden Goose

Jim was angelic in his sleep. It had been a long, rough day. Jim tended to crash like a house of cards on nights that followed those kinds of days, while Bones tended to stay awake and digest all that had gone on. It was a rough mission, a messy fire fight and a last minute transporter lock on their location that had allowed Leo to be in the position he was now enjoying; tangled up in Jim Kirk.

Bones could feel both of Jim’s feet wrapped around one of his own, Jim’s way of anchoring himself to Leo in sleep. Bones always wondered if it was Jim’s way of making sure he didn’t sneak off in the night. All these years together and Bones knew somewhere in the back of Jim’s beautiful mind he was afraid Leo was going to walk away too. Each of Jim’s legs lie on either side of Bones left leg, while his own right leg was snug against Jim’s left. Bones loved having as many points of contact with Jim as possible. He could never touch enough of Jim’s golden skin. Jim’s hips cuddled Bones’ left hip and there had been too many night to count where Jim’s left knee had jerked into Leo’s family jewels. A rough way to be jolted from a sound sleep, but it never bothered Leo much as it meant Jim was wrapped around him like an octopus.

Jim’s torso and chest were sprawled across Leo, with his head resting on Leo’s heart. He knew Jim would never admit, even now after all this time, but Bones knew he found the solid, steady beat of his heart to be comforting to Jim.

What comforted Leo on nights like this was mapping Jim Kirk’s skin with his fingers. He didn’t need the light to tell him what he would find. The small scar on the right side of his ribcage from a football tackle in high school then the long, thin raised scars from the bite of the cat on Tarsus IV. More freckles than Leo could count. He loved to run his finger from freckle to freckle, mapping out constellations of his own making, telling Jim what they represented and how they came to be. He loved the warm, silky feel of Jim’s skin under his fingers, loved the way Jim would shiver and moan as his hands danced along his skin, in a hurry to go nowhere fast. In sleep though, it was just Leo and his own reactions to Jim Kirk. He could never get enough of Jim’s skin under his hands. Jim always took care of his body, made sure it was worked to perfection, something Leo always admired from afar. But here, under the cover of dark, Bones could feel each muscle of Jim’s back, was intimately acquainted with the tone and feel of Jim’s deltoids, biceps and triceps. His fingers did a slow slide down Jim’s spine, silently naming each bone as he went. It was Bones’ aria, one he sang for himself alone.

Jim’s left hand was curled around the base of Leo’s neck, his thumb resting on the freckle in the dip of Leo’s collarbone. It was an anxiety response from Jim; it seemed he always rubbed that freckle when he was in the midst of an attack. There had been times when Jim had rubbed the skin raw, but Bones didn’t mind since it soothed Jim.  His other hand was under Leo’s pillow and if he concentrated hard enough he could feel Jim’s hand cradling his head.

In these quiet moments Leo could feel the love swirl around him, could feel the rise and fall of Jim’s chest, could feel the steady rhythm Jim’s heart beat out only for him. He silently thanked whatever benevolent being had decided this beautiful man, this golden boy was to be his one great love. Leo said one more silent prayer of thanks and slipped into sleep.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-goldengoose.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis of The Golden Goose: 
> 
> Three brothers meet mysterious man and only the third is willing to share food and drink with him.  
> As a reward he is given a goose with feathers made of pure gold.  
> Whenever people touch the feathers, they stick to the goose.  
> As the man made his way home, he collected quite the caravan of people.
> 
>  
> 
> There is no doubt that Jim is Bones’ golden boy. I loved the visual image in my head of greedy fingers stuck to the golden feathers of the goose. This translated into Bones needing to be “stuck” to Jim in as many places as possible. It made me think about kangaroo parenting to be honest. Strange, I know…but kangaroo parenting is skin on skin contact with a newborn child, it’s done to soothe and to help bond the child to its parents. I see no reason why non-sexual skin on skin contact would not be just as soothing for adults. I can imagine the rush of Jim and Bones to fall together when one or both of them has had a close call, the need to be part of each other to reassure that yes, I am still alive, HE is still alive. But once the flush of sex is gone, I think these two need something more. Maybe it’s just the romantic in me, cause it’s coming out in spades here tonight, but this one really touched my heart.
> 
> This fic is also thanks in part to Iseult1124, who sent me a provoking pic of two guys, one of whom appeared to be mapping the skin of his partner. She thought that kind of scene would be lovely and I agreed.


	20. The Nightengale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of The Nightingale.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 20: The Nightingale

The small, grey bird was terrified. Well, wouldn’t you be if two grown men were swatting at you with brooms? It was a beautiful, sunny day in Georgia and the bird had just been minding its own business until it got to a pretty white farmhouse. Thinking this might be a nice place to stop and set a spell, the bird swooped in for a closer look. The world went to hell from there.

“Dammit Jim, why didn’t you shut the door?”

“My arms were loaded down with groceries Bones, where were you?”

“Puttin away the milk and cheese. Where else?”

The little grey bird was enjoying the banter between the two men, but it was really time to go. She flew down from the curtain rod and into the sunshin- SMACK. Not the sunshine.

“Oh God, Bones it hit the window, what do we do now?”

“Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor not a wildlife veterinarian. I’m not touchin that thing, birds carry diseases.”

“So do humans Bones, help it.”

“You’re such an infant.” Bones scooped up the little bird and rubbed the back of its head. He could see that it was breathing and soon it started to move its wings.

“C’mon little girl.” Jim urged. “Uncle Bones and Uncle Jim are here for you.

Bones arched an eyebrow at Jim. “I ain’t no damn bird’s uncle.” He muttered. “She’s wakin up, we can bring her out to the garden.”

“Are you sure she’ll be okay Bones.”

“She’ll be fine Jim.” Unless she’s eaten by a cat or a hawk, or is bleeding into her brain…

The little grey bird liked the man called Bones. He had soft, gentle hands. Her head hurt but his finger rubbing the spot made it feel better.

 Bones walked the little bird to the tree in their garden and opened his hand so she could fly away, which she did.

Jim slung an arm around Bones’ shoulder. “My hero!” Jim crowed and leaned in for a messy kiss.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://hca.gilead.org.il/nighting.html>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another fairy tale I didn’t really enjoy. The Nightingale is a plain little bird with an amazing singing voice. People loved to hear her sing, but thought she should have been prettier…I wasn’t going there, so Jim and Bones ended up with a bird in their house and Bones plays reluctant hero!


	21. Jack and the Beanstalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Jack and the Beanstalk!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 21: Jack and the Beanstalk

“KIRK TO ENTERPRISE.”

“Are you out of your southern fried mind Bones? What. The. Fuck. Were you thinking telling our host the food was delicious?”

“It was Jim, I was just being courteous.”

“Did you read my mission briefing, Bones?”

“Well duh, Jim.”

“Well duh, you didn’t Bones, cause if you had, you would have known compliments are insults to these backwards people.”

“You fuckin kidding me, Jim?”

“Bones, we’re running through the woods being chased by an angry host who wants to grind our bones for his bread. I am tempted to leave you behind so that he can grind MY Bones into his bread.”

“DAMMIT, ENTERPRISE WHERE ARE YOU?”

“Enterprise here, Jim.”

“Scotty beam us up now, dammit.”

“Trouble, Jim?”

“Jesus Christ on a moped, man, this isn’t the time to talk about it, Scotty.”

“This is the last time I take you anywhere Bones.”

“Promise, Jim?”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://www.authorama.com/english-fairy-tales-15.html>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. The line that caught my attention of course is the one where the giant wants to grind Jack’s bones into the grain for his bread. Cannibalism aside, I loved the play on the word, “Bones.” 
> 
> I guess one of my small headcanons is that it would always be Jim who would break protocol and accidently do something to offend his host, so of course I had to go the other way and make it Bones. Why should he waste his time reading the mission briefing Jim spent hours preparing??


	22. Pinocchio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Pinocchio! Bones has a problem, does Jim have the cure?

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 22: Pinocchio

 

Doctor Leonard McCoy was having a bad day. It was only 0750, but working on only two hours sleep, Leo knew the day could only get worse from here.

“How are you today, Leo?” Uhura asked as he stepped into the turbolift.

“Great darlin. And yourself?” Leo didn’t catch Uhura’s answer as his cock began to stir in his scrubs. What the hell, he wondered. For the last five years the only person who made his cock rise had been Jim Kirk. For all the good it did him. He was still stuck with his dick in his hand because he could never find a way to tell Jim. He kept telling himself it was because Jim didn’t seem interested. The truth of the matter is that Leo was too damn scared to tell him how he really felt.

“Mornin Leo.” Christine Chapel sang out as she entered Bones’ office with a cup of coffee. They had a deal, it was Chris and Leo before or after shift, then using each other’s titles while on duty.

“Hey Chris, thanks, I could sure use this.”

“I’m trying out white scrubs today, do you think they make my ass look big?”

It was a well known fact that white made everyone’s ass look big. “A course not Chris, you look fantastic.” Once again Leo’s cock started coming to life in his pants.

“Thanks Leo, have a great shift.”

Two erections in the span of twenty minutes? On the one hand Leo was thinking ‘GO ME!’ on the other hand he was pretty boggled as to why his cock was taking an interest in women after its five year bout of insanity with Jim Kirk. What the hell was going on? He sure as hell didn’t have the time or the patience to examine his overactive anatomy, he was busy, dammit.

 

 

Leo was eating lunch. He was not impressed with the wilted lettuce and rubbery tomatoes on his plate, but at least it was better than getting something from the replicator.

“What’s up Doc? How’s the grub?” Mary, head of the Officer’s Mess, slapped him loudly on the back. She never tired of this joke. Leo on the other hand…

“Food was great as always Mary.” OH NO, no, no, no, no! This couldn’t be happening now of all times. Leo felt his cock stirring once again. Not that Mary wasn’t a nice woman, but she weighed four hundred pounds if she weighed an ounce and had a beard. What the fuck was happening to him?

 

“McCoy to bridge.”

“Kirk here.”

“Jim, I need to see you in my office.”

“Kinda busy Bones, what’s up?”

“This is somethin you gotta see to believe, Jim.”

“On my way. Kirk out.”

 

“Okay Bones, what’s up?” Kirk asked a few minutes later as he walked into Bones office.

“Lock the door with your override code, would ya, Jim?”

“Sounds serious Bones, what’s going on.”

“Like I said, it’s something you gotta see. You’re the only one I trust enough to tell or show rather.  Have a seat.” He motioned to the chair in front of his desk, while he stood in front of Jim. Bones grabbed the waistband of his scrubs and shoved them and his boxer to his ankles.

Jim inhaled a sharp breath. “Not exactly sure what I’m supposed to be looking at Bones, I mean you’re the doctor here, wanna give me a hand, errrm, I mean…fuck.”

“Ask me a question you know the correct answer to an’ watch my…watch my…dammit Jim, just watch.”

“What’s two times two?”

“Five.” Holy fuck, did Bones’ cock just jump up and salute?

“Again Jim, ask me something else, not math but something only we know.”

“Were you and I fuck buddies back at the Academy?”

“Yes.”

Jim’s mouth fell open as Bones’ cock rose to full attention He licked his tongue out at his now dry lips. “Bones? I? Hmmm… What the fuck Bones?”

“Don’t know Jim, started this morning. It seems to get real happy when I tell a lie.”

“When you tell a lie Bones, okay? Do you think I’m handsome?”

“Not funny Jim.” Bones went to move away, but Jim reached his legs forward boxing him in. Bones stared into Jim’s eyes which were serious for once. “No, you’re ugly as the day is long.” Bones’ cock stayed rock hard and a drop of pre-come glistened at its tip.

Jim was having a hard time catching his breath and a red flush had creeped up his neck. If Bones didn’t know better, he would have thought Jim was getting aroused himself, but it had been five years spent around this maddening man and he had never once shown any interest in Leo other than friendship. Maybe he’s just embarrassed.

“Did you fuck Gaila?”

“No Jim,” Telling the truth, his cock immediately began to soften.

“Do you wanna kiss me Bones?”

“No, Jim.” Seconds later McCoy was fully hard again.

“Do you want to fuck me Bones?”

“Jim please. Don’t do this, I can never un-say these things.”

“Well I can never un-see this Bones, so answer the question. Do you want to fuck me?”

“No, Jim.” It didn’t seem possible but his cock got harder with that lie.

“You in love with me Bones?” Jim whispered and looked up at his best friend.

Bones felt helpless; there was nothing else he could do. Ah fuck it, he thought and shook his head, no.

Jim watched him for a few seconds which felt like an eternity to Leo until Jim leaned forward and licked his tongue out to catch the drop of pre-come. “Fuck Jim.” Bones hissed.

“Lie to me Bones.” Jim whispered as he swallowed Bones’ cock.

“Fuckin hate you Jim.”

Jim slurped audibly on his cock.

“Never liked the color of your eyes.”

Bones felt Jim swallow around him.

“I never think of you when I’m jackin off.”

Bones hit the back of Jim’s throat and felt Jim gag.

“Hate your stupid smile, Jim.”

Jim pulled back from Bones’ cock and was sucking only on the head.

“Don’t want you to fuck me Jim.”

Jim moaned around Bones cock and swallowed him deep again.

“Haven’t been in love with you for five fuckin years. Jim, gonna…”

Bones felt his cock jerk as he began to come down Jim’s throat. Jim seemed unwilling to stop once Leo had finished coming and finally Bones had to gently push him back.

Jim wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Five years Bones, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Didn’t think you felt the same way Jim, didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Jim still wasn’t looking at him. “It’s okay Jim, just tell me the truth about how you feel and we’ll figure this out.”

“I like you Bones.” Leo nodded.

“I’ve always liked the way your eyes change colors with your mood.” Bones smiled at him.

“The best part of my day is when you smile at me.” Bones was smiling bigger now.

“I call out your name when I come in the shower, Bones.” Leo gasped.

 “Not a day goes by that I don’t want to fuck you Bones.” Leo could feel tears forming at the back of his eyes.

Jim stood up and wrapped himself around his best friend. Bones could feel Jim’s erection burning into his hip.  ”Been in love with you since that day on the shuttle Bones.”

“Two times two is five, Jim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know the story of Pinocchio, the little wooden marionette who wanted to become a real boy. Which is really a charming idea for a story, you know a coming of age story where Jim cuts the strings and takes charge of his own life, right? Yeah, well, all my mind could come up with was this really dirty joke about Pinocchio having sex with Snow White. The punch line of the joke is "Lie to me, tell me the truth, lie to me, tell me the truth." Thus this story was born. I have no idea why Bones' bone got hard when he lied, I'm sure Bones has a theory or two! 
> 
> If you're wondering what the look on Jim's face was like when Bones pushed his pants to the floor...think John Kennex on Almost Human when Dorian whipped out his cock to show John that he wasn't like molded plastic below the belt. "Is that ALL for one person?"


	23. The Six Swans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of The Six Swans. Jim is telling Joanna a bedtime story about the crew of the Enterprise.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 23: The Six Swans

“Okay Jo, what story do you want to hear tonight?” Jim asked as his daughter snuggled deeper into his arms.

“Wanna hear the story of the ‘Nterprise and your friends Daddy.”

Jim smiled and ran a hand down her soft curls. “Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away there was a most beautiful lady called the Enterprise. She was so beautiful in fact that she allowed all of her friends to live inside her walls. She loved them and kept them safe from harm. She loved Chekov with his pretty golden curls, and the way he pronounces Vulcan as ‘Wulcan.’  Don’t tell anyone, but Scotty is her favorite because he’s the one who keeps the Enterprise beautiful and healthy. Plus Scotty calls everyone either ‘lass’ or laddie, even me and that’s kinda sweet. Then she loves Miss Nyota who has smiles for everyone and is almost as beautiful as the Enterprise herself.  Spock never smiles at all but he’s careful with our girl, the most important thing to Spock his keeping her safe. Then there’s Sulu with his all of his plants that make the Enterprise more beautiful than she already is. AND then there’s Daddy and me. I’m always smiling and laughing on board my beautiful lady, while your Daddy keeps us all healthy and reminds us to eat our vegetables.

“Jim, think she’s asleep now.” Bones said from the door.

“Just don’t wanna let her go Bones, I miss her so much when we’re gone.”

Bones walked into the room and pulled the covers up to Jim’s chin and kissed his husband on the lips. “Sleep here, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jim cuddled his daughter closer and slipped into sleep.

And they lived happily ever after…

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-6swans.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the tale of a man who has seven children, six boys and one girl. He remarries and is afraid his new wife will harm his children, so he hides them away. Of course she finds them and puts a spell on the boys that turns them into swans. It’s up to the sister to save them all.
> 
> I am so in love with Jim and Joanna fic, that I wanted this to be Jim telling Jo a bedtime story about himself and his six best friends, no wait, his family!


	24. Snow White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Snow White.
> 
> All I am going to say is "Dammit Jim!"

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 24: Snow White

****_STARFLEET ACADEMY PROUDLY PRESENTS: SNOW WHITE_  
AUDITIONS TODAY  
BRING YOUR OWN APPLE 

“Okay everyone, settle down,” Admiral Christopher Pike said, calling the group of “actors” to attention. “This is the moment I know you have all been waiting for: cast announcements.”

“Bout damn time, I’m a doctor, not Karl Urban.” Bones moaned from the second row.

“Who Bones?” Jim Kirk was puzzled.

“Okay, the lead role of Snow White will be played by the lovely Gaila.”

“YAY!” Gaila stood up, clapping her hands. “I’ve always wanted to be a princess.”

“Y’ve always been my princess, lass.” Scotty whispered to her.

“Better luck next time, Bones!” Jim crowed, everyone laughed as the doctor blushed.

“Dammit, Jim-”

“Moving right along, the role of Happy will be played by Spock.”

Everyone broke out into hilarious laughter, well everyone but Spock.

“Admiral, I can only assume from the raucous laughter of my shipmates that you are in fact making a jest. Surely I am much better suited to the role of the Prince.”

“No jest, Spock, start tuning up your smiling muscles, you’re Happy.”

“ ** _Don’t worry, be Happy._** ” Jim Kirk sang out, with Bones (really?) and Sulu joining in.

“I’m glad you are in a joyful mood, Mr. Sulu, it’s my pleasure to tell you that you will be Dopey.”

“Yeah Admiral, but what part in the play did he get?” Kirk again.

“Mr. Chekov, you will be playing Sneezy.”

“Admere-al, I vould like to be meeting vith you later to discuss my character’s motiwation.”

“Chekov, he has no motivation, he just sneezes.” Pike deadpanned.

“Nyota, I know you had your heart set on being Snow White, but the casting committee thought you would be better suited to playing Bashful.”

“BASHFUL?? I don’t have a bashful bone in my body.”

“That’s what SHE said.” Kirk announced to the room.

“Mr. Scott, you are Sleepy.”

“Aye, Admiral, ya bet y’sweet arse I am, but I’ll play the role anyway.”

“Bones,” Jim leaned over to whisper. “This sucks, you’re gonna be Doc and I’m gonna be stuck being Grumpy. I’m never grumpy, YOU are.” Bones lifted an eyebrow.

“Well we’re down to the wire with the parts, people. The role of Grumpy will be played by none other than our own resident grumpy cat, Leonard McCoy.” The room erupted in laughter. McCoy looked murderous.

“Last, but certainly not least Jim Kirk will be Doc.”

“Bones, it’s the role I was born to play!!” Jim kissed Bones’ forehead and danced away to congratulate his crew on their roles.

“Role you were born to play, my ass,”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm053.html>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know the story of Snow White and how much fun would it be to see our favorite people acting out the play on stage? I love the idea that Chekov is so into this that he needs to discuss his acting methods with Pike. Spock of course was the LOGICAL choice to play Happy and you just KNOW Jim’s gonna make tee-shirts for everyone with their character names on them…Spock’s will be some obnoxious fluorescent color with “I’M HAPPY” written across the front and back, well, because that’s the way Jim rolls… It was too obvious to make Bones Doc, but here’s something Bones doesn't know, Jim practically sold his soul to Pike to get the role of Doc! It is simply the role he was born to play, and if he has to hypospray Grumpy’s ass into next week, so be it! 
> 
>  
> 
> I broke the fourth wall here and used Karl Urban...it is MY fairy tale after all!!


	25. The Story of the Youth Who Learned What Fear Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of: Story of the Youth Who Learned What Fear Is.
> 
> What happened to Bones when he unzipped the bag...

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 25: Story of the Youth Who Learned What Fear Is

Bones was never truly scared until the day he opened the body bag and saw the love of his life’s dead body. He felt like he had always had Jim beside him and now…

The body bag came into the medbay on a hover-stretcher. It was surrounded by six red shirted members of security and was followed by Scotty, who looked like he had aged ten years in the few hours since Leo had seen him last.

There had been a lot of body bags coming though the medbay today, why was this one any different? Why did it deserve an honor guard of sorts?

Bones unzipped the bag and his heart stopped in his chest. His blood turned to sludge in his veins. Jim. His vision grayed and knew if he didn’t sit down, he would end up on the floor.

Jim couldn’t be dead, he was so full of life, so vibrant, so alive. Jim was the only thing that had gotten Bones through the Academy sober and sane, the only thing that had kept him sober and sane in the black. Jim couldn’t be gone.

Fear meet Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy. Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy meet Fear.

In that moment Bones realized he never knew what fear was… Oh sure, he’d been scared plenty when his marriage ended, when his ex-wife took away his child, on the shuttle flight when he met Jim and on the training flights he had to take in order to qualify as a crew member for the Kobayashi Maru. But this was different. It was a punch to the gut, it was not being able to draw breath without feeling like his lungs were filled with glass, it was cold. The kind of cold that settles into your bones because it was now a part of you. Jim. A name that was written in his heart, on his soul and branded into his skin.

What scared Leo more than the lifeless form of his love was the crazy plan forming in his mind to get him back. If his plan failed, there was no coming back for him, for either of them really. Leo took a hard fought breath. “Get me a cryo-tube. NOW!”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-storyyouth.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another strange story and one I had never read before. It was about a man who had no visceral reaction to fear, so he goes through life trying to find things that would inspire him to feel fear. 
> 
> I always liken pain with fear in that you think one experience is the worst pain you’ve ever felt until the next experience comes along to supplant the first one in your mind. Fear operates much the same way. If you think back to things you really feared ten years ago, hopefully those are things you’ve learned to cope with or overcome. To aviophobe Leonard McCoy his whole life is fear based, but I can’t imagine there is anything he fears more than viewing the dead body of his Jim. We all know how this scene plays out in the end, but it’s heartbreaking to think what Bones went through in those long hours from the time he unzipped the bag until Jim finally opened his eyes.


	26. Rumplestilskin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumplestilskin

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 26: Rumpelstiltskin

It’s poker night on the USS Enterprise. It was all Sulu’s doing, Sulu and that dammed Stetson hat he insisted on wearing every damn week. “It’s my lucky charm.” He’d said the first night they had all played together. At the end of the night when you could barely see Sulu for the huge pile of chips in front of him, they became quick believers in the power of the hat.

Tonight though, all the luck seemed to be with Bones, which was odd because Bones was the WORST poker player in the history of the game. Jim often joked that a blind squirrel could beat Bones at poker, well every night but this one it seemed. Bones had a rainbow of chips stacked in front of him and he was about to make the pile even larger.

“Just you an’ me Doc.” Scotty said. “Whatcha holdin?”

“Full house, aces and eights.” Bones stared laughing as he scooped the chips into his pile. “Well everyone, I wanna thank ya’ll for an interestin game, but if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go fuck my husband into the mattress.”

“Doctor, zat is too much information, my poor wirgin ears…”

Jim was beaming, “Hot damn, Bones!”

Bones stood up from the tables and several cards slipped off his chair and onto the floor.

The room went nuts!

“You dirty, rotten scoundrel!” Scotty yelled.

“Do you know vhat ve do vith cheaters in Russia, Doctor?”

“Hire them for government work?” Jim asked.

Sulu stood up and started walking toward Bones. He looked murderous in his hat.

“Run Bones, RUN.” Jim shouted.

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-rumpel.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know the story of Rumplestilskin… the moral of this story is greed is good. Hmmm where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, Michael Douglas' character in Wall Street tells us this...
> 
> Poor Bones, I wrote earlier that Bones was notoriously bad at poker and I don’t know why this is so. We all know he’s brilliant, so why can’t he conquer this game? The galaxy may never know.
> 
> Bones’ last hand in the game; full house with aces and eights, was the infamous last hand of Wild Bill Hickock. He was shot dead during a poker game and that was hand he had been holding. Sometimes you gotta know when to hold em…


	27. Toads and Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-telling of Toads and Diamonds. Boys will be boys and girls will be girls...

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge  
** Day 27: Toads and Diamonds

The family room was a disaster. Jim and Bones stood at opposite ends of the room unable to believe that two small people could make this much of a mess. “Where do we start, Bones?”

Bones laughed, “Hell if I know, Jim, why don’t you grab boys, I’ll grab girls?”

“Deal!” Jim took a step forward and howled in pain. “Dammed legos.”  He started scooping them up by the handful.

Bones picked up half dressed Barbie dolls and impossibly small shoes. He quickly moved on to folding far flung princess dresses and trying to find their matching shoes. Bones looked up to see Jim pushing a toy truck across the floor and making a rumbling noise with his lips. “Didn’t you and Nate do enough of that today?”

Jim looked up to smile at his husband. “Never Bones, I could never do this enough.” Jim picked up the truck and set it inside Nathan’s toy box. 

“Let’s grab them.” Jim said as he scooped his two year old son off the couch and into his arms. Bones did the same with Joanna.

“You’re right, Jim. We could never do this enough.”

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/alang/bl-alang-blue-27.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a funny little fairy tale about a girl who helps an older woman who turns out to be an enchantress. As a reward for helping, the woman gifts the child with diamonds every time she speaks. The girl’s greedy mother sends her other daughter to find a similar reward, but her greed shines through instead. As a punishment, toads fall from her mouth every time she speaks.
> 
> To me diamonds and toads spoke to the differences between little boys and little girls. Joanna is all Barbies and Princesses, while baby Nathan is trucks and legos! On a personal note, my apologies to Jim, because man do those damn lego blocks hurt when you step on them!


	28. Thumbellina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is close to my heart!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 28: Thumbelina

A tiny ballerina took the stage with four other little girls. Their costumes were pink and each girl wore a pair of butterfly wings. They moved slowly into a pirouette and the tiny ballerina lost her balance twice. Her smile was brilliant. The dancers stepped to the left, while the tiny ballerina stepped right with her arms raised. The group raised their arms to twirl, the tiny ballerina lowered hers. When the dance ended four little girls took dignified bows and the tiny ballerina jumped up and down, fluttering her wings and shouting, “I did it Daddies, I did it!”

In the audience sat two of Starfleet’s most decorated officers, holding each other’s hands and crying tears of joy.

 

Read the original Fairy Tale here:  <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/hcanderson/bl-hcanderson-littletiny.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thumbelina is of course about a tiny little girl. My mind immediately went to Joanna. I have been to many dance recitals and I always fall in love with the clumsy dancers, the little girls who move left when the group moves right. These little people are enchanting and they always seem to be the kids happiest to be performing for their families.


	29. Sun and Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A retelling of Sun and Moon!!

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 29: Sun and Moon

Since she turned thirteen, it seemed Joanna and her fathers spoke two different languages. They had always been so close, what had happened?

**_What Joanna says and what Joanna means:_ **

“You’re both ruining my life.” [All of my friends think I’m lame because I can’t go.]

“I hate you.” [I hate that I have no control over my own life.]

“That’s not fair!”  [All of my other friends get to go/do the thing.]

“But Katie’s Mom said she can go.”  [You’re not as cool as Katie’s Mom.]

**_What Jim and Bones say and what Jim and Bones mean:_ **

“You are not allowed to date until you’re 16.” [We’re afraid one of us is gonna end up in jail if we have to deal with hormonal teenage boys.]

“You’re not going to that party young lady.” [We’re afraid one of us is gonna end up in jail if we have to deal with hormonal teenage boys and booze.]

“We’re not Katie’s Mom. [Fuck Katie’s Mom and the horse she rode in on.]

“We love you.” [You are our Sun and Moon and we want to keep you safe forever.]

 

<http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-allerleirauh.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have included the link to this one, but I advise you not to read it. This was another of those stories I had never read before and there is a DAMN good reason Disney never made it into a movie. It’s about a man whose wife dies and he searches high and low for a new wife and decides in the end, he’ll just marry his daughter…. Yeah, run take a shower, I’ll wait here. Needless to say, I wasn’t going anywhere near that one…at its heart though this is a story about miscommunication between adults and children. What better way to address that than with a teenaged Joanna!


	30. Sleeping Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A retelling of Sleeping Beauty.

**McKirk 30 Day Fairytale Challenge**

Day 30: Sleeping Beauty

The room was mostly dark, lit only by the star field generated on the ceiling. Soft, tinkling music played in the background. Bones sat in the room’s rocking chair. He was bare-chested and wearing soft flannel sleep pants. His head was tilted to the side and his mouth hung open. Baby Nathan lay cuddled in his arms. Both boys were sound asleep. Jim stood in the doorway watching his new family. Family. Jim reached up to swipe at the tears that were running down his cheeks. He had never really known what it was like to belong to a whole family; his own was fractured and ripped apart on the day it began.  How very different this day was from that. He swiped at more tears as he remembered what it had been like when the nurse had placed the baby in his arms this afternoon. For the first time in his life Jim Kirk knew what he had been put on this earth to do. His tears had splashed onto Nathan’s tiny fist and Bones wrapped an arm around them from behind. “Let’s take our baby home, Jimmy.” Now here they were, together, a family at last.

Read the original fairy tale here: <http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/grimm/bl-grimm-briarrose.htm>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping Beauty is one of my favorite fairy tales and thanks to Corrie71 I have baby fic on the brain! Bones and Jim with an infant is life! The dichotomy between what happened on the day Jim was born versus what happened on this day was too amazing to pass up. I like to think that Jim made his own family first with Bones at the Academy and then added to it with the crew of the Enterprise. I don’t think the meaning of the word family really meant something permanent to him until the day his son was placed in his arms. I am crying now thinking about this…
> 
> I cannot believe this is the last day of the Challenge. Thirty days of Fairy Tales are in the book. It really amazes me to take a look back at how far I have come as a writer in the last month. Before this started I swore up and down I would never write death fic, now thanks to this challenge, I have written three. One where we lose our Captain and Bones never existed in his universe, a second where Jim dies and Bones sacrifices himself to bring Jim back to life and lastly Bones after a long and wonderful life spent at Jim's side. I wrote my first Mirrorverse fic, which was scary as hell not only in the attempt but in how quickly I adjusted to life in that world. I think these prompts give us the chance to spread our wings and try things that don't come naturally to our own hearts or headcanons. If you are interested in the prompt list, send a message and I'll send it to you.


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